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The Color of Love

The Daily Emerald’s commentary page has long been known for columnists who, desperate to impress with their “innovative” politics, tie themselves into knots trying to justify a novel take on old issues. In this morning’s column, “Watch out for ‘Jungle Fever'”, Ty Schwoefferman abandons his feuds with TGraf and Bush to try his hand at some more controversial fare, arguing that interracial relationships are a) founded on racist stereotypes and b) doomed to fail because of “negative prejudices (which) exist in the general public’s conscience.” That’s right folks, some of you may have thought that recent increases in mixed-race relationships signified improvement in race relations, but you would have been wrong… so very, very wrong.

Schwoefferman opens his column by comparing attraction to other races to a virus… “It is a common condition for those with no knowledge of self. The virus is spreading rapidly at the University. Beware of its major symptom: An uncontrollable sexual desire for the opposite race.” Um, Ok Ty… if you say so, but please clear some things up for us. For example, what the hell does “opposite race” mean? Were the races paired off into sets of opposites while I was napping? Oh, and what do you mean by “knowledge of self,” and what does it have to do with any of this?

Having established that black people and white people suffer from “an uncontrollable sexual desire for the opposite race,” Schwoefferman goes on to kick up the stereotypes a notch. “(People who date outside their race) will say things such as, ‘I date white women because they are easier than black women,’ ‘I date black men because I want a brown baby,’ or ‘I date white men because they treat me right.’ Of course there are some exceptions to the rule; I myself know of a few relationships that work. The overwhelming majority of these relationships start with questionable logic and little thought about the political implications.” Oh no Ty, surely these are the only reasons to date outside your race… and for the love of god, who EVER thinks of the “political implications” of their relationships?

Having covered the stereotypes held by people in interracial relationships, Schwoefferman continues by disclosing his own prejudices about other people in interracial relationships. “My initial reaction to any interracial couple holding hands is that ‘something isn’t right.’ I can’t help it, but I have a strange uncontrollable reaction to the sight of an interracial couple when I see one. When the couple is in my sight, my mind justifies it with general stereotypes that attempt to explain reason why the two might be together: ‘That black guy is just dating around and it must not be serious,’ ‘It’s about time that she got a white man,’ or ‘That white girl is just dating him for the fashion statement.'” Imagine for a moment if, hypothetically, TGraf or even Ben Lenet had confessed to these mental turdlets in one of their columns… is there any doubt that they would almost immediately be burned in effigy in the Amphitheater for their bigoted, racist comments?

But Schwoefferman is not prejudiced. No, he believes that interracial relationships can work, they simply cannot work in America. Why should the land of the free also be the land of sexual segregation, according to the column? Emmett Till, Birth of a Nation, and the Harold Ford Jr. attack ad, that’s why. A 50 year old hate crime, a 90 year old movie, and a racially charged political ad from Tennessee are all the evidence that Schwoefferman needs to conclude that “In conclusion, I believe that stereotypes in America are so entrenched in our society that I see no way to sustain a true black and white relationship harmoniously.”

I agree that there are stereotypes Ty, problem is, you’re the one perpetuating them. You’re the one who thinks that interracial relationships must be based “uncontrollable sexual attraction for the opposite race” or one of the other equally inane and offensive stereotypes, scattered throughout your column. I recommend you calm down, and rent the movie “Bullworth,” if only to pick up one concept: “White people, black people, brown people, yellow people, get rid of ’em all/ All we need is a voluntary, free spirited, open-ended program of procreative racial deconstruction/ Everybody just gotta keep fuckin’ everybody til they’re all the same color.”

  1. Daniel says:

    I have to say, that I could not agree with you in 100% regarding The Color of Love, but it’s just my opinion, which could be wrong 🙂

  2. […] has courted controversy all year, with columns on interracial dating, the athletic department, and an angry outburst at a PFC meeting.

  3. Niedermeyer says:

    SHAYlA: Let me straighten this out for you.

    1: The column was written in a different publication, known as the Oregon Daily Emerald.

    2: The column was written by a black/mixed man.

    3: The Oregon Commentator believes that interracial loving is a wonderful thing.

    4: It’s spelled PATHETIC.

    5: Please read the posts you are responding to, so we don’t have to restate the obvious for you.


  4. Timothy says:

    Umm…we were the ones saying that interracial dating is a non-issue because people should date who they want to date. I think you might be a little confused about exactly what our philosophy is ’round these parts.

  5. SHAYlA says:

    You act like blacks aint good enough to be with whites.
    Well Im PROUD to be a N I G G E R. cracker ass honkeys!

  6. SHAYlA says:

    You all are PETHETIC racist assholes. Im mixed and black people are just as good as white people, maybe even better. so suck on that bitches!

  7. T says:

    Read the comment … Step back off the ledge, dude. There’s probably a way of expressing yourself (see: humor) that doesn’t involve sustaining massive head trauma. I couldn’t disagree with your take on the situation more, Tseren. Please take a bemused look at this situation, and don’t turn it into a manufactured outrage.

  8. Tseren says:

    Nevermind. hehe

  9. Tseren says:

    Update: I posted a response to Lucas Pollack’s defense of a racist and non-thought out commentary, but I have not yet seen the comment on it yet, even though I posted it about 5 hours ago.

    And even while Pollack attempts to defend the article, Ole Dirty has decided to remove the article from the site. Try using the link above and you will be pleasantly surprised.

  10. Michael G. says:

    Brilliant! A parody of a Weird Al song, and a winner!!!

  11. Doomscheissah says:

    So, who’s gonna nominate Tseren for an award for that parody? 🙂

  12. Slade says:

    This was probably the stupidest article I’ve ever read in the Emerald.

    And I was around for the Aaron Shakra days.

  13. Ian says:

    Aaaaand we have a winner.

  14. Niedermeyer says:


    Thank you.

  15. Tseren says:

    “You Don’t Love Me Anymore (Because you’re over the novelty of dating outside your race)”

    We’ve been together for so very long
    But now things are changing, oh I wonder what’s wrong?
    Seems you don’t want me around
    The passion is gone and the jungle fever’s died down

    I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem
    That time that you made it with every Latino you’d seen
    You used to think it was nice
    Now you tell all your friends that I’m hung like Asian mice.

    Oh, why did you disconnect the breaks in my car?
    That kind of thing is hard to ignore
    Got a funny feeling you don’t like me for my race anymore

    I knew that we were having problems when
    I saw you blowin’ that Indian guy again
    You’re still the light of my life
    Oh darling, I’m beggin’, won’t you be my mixed coupled wife?

    You know, I even think it’s kinda cute the way
    You bang a different black guy each and every day
    I still remember the way that you laughed
    When you made me watch those Japanese take pix of your gash

    Oh, if you don’t mind me asking, what’s this travel brochure
    Doing in my underwear drawer?
    Sometime I get to thinking you don’t love me for my race any more

    You said I don’t know how to cook on the barbecue grill
    That there’s this Texas redneck that can give you your fill
    You set my house on fire
    Then hopped in that low-rider and squealed you tires

    Oh, you think that I’m ugly and you say that I’m cheap
    I don’t want to know what you were doing with that farmer and his sheep
    You gave that Iraqi guy head
    Then you left an IED right beside my bed

    Oh, you know this really isn’t like you at all
    You never acted this way before
    Honey, something tells me you don’t love me any more, oh no no
    Got a funny feeling you don’t love me anymore (because you’re over the novelty of dating outside your race)

  16. Ian says:

    Some suggestions to Knutson:

    I Love Every Little Thing About You (Except Your Complexion)

    If She Breaks Your Heart (It’s Because She’s White)

  17. Adam says:

    I wrote a response in the emerald, im sick of their stupid columnists…but i think a good headline might be:

    I just called to say I love you (unless you’re white)

    I, too should get a bonus for using another stevie song!

  18. Niedermeyer says:

    Olly: I wasn’t calling for a witch hunt at all, the only punishment Ty deserves is the crushing humiliation which is already in progress. I’m no fan of PC Police brutality though, and untill we hear any defense of the column, there’s not alot of sense in repeating what everyone seems to agree on. In that vein, let me humbly submit my entry:

    I Was Made For Love (Just Not From The Opposite Race)

    bonus bonus points for using another Stevie Wonder song?

  19. Olly says:

    While everyone is saying “rabble rabble rabble” in the ODE’s comment section, may I suggest a more constructive response to this column than just being really offended? We’re already in store for a week’s worth of tiresome handwringing about how racism is bad, and that’s even before the fucking Bias Response Team gets involved and white students start claiming that Schwoefferman’s idiotic column has bruised their delicate feelings.

    No, what we need is an alternative headline contest! And in keeping with the Stevie Wonder-inspired original – one of the piece’s many offenses was not acknowledging Spike Lee, by the way – entries will receive bonus points if they make reference to song titles.

    Here’s my submission:

      (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction (Because Emmett Till Was Murdered By White Racists In Mississippi Thirty Years Before I Was Born)
  20. Niedermeyer says:

    Is there any word yet about how MCC/BSU is taking this? Bias Response Team? It’s interesting that as well-equiped to handle racial prejudice as our University is, that the only substantive response to the piece in the Emerald is from a “University student.” Then again, I guess I judge all this from the “what would be happening right now if the Commentator had published this crap” perspective.

  21. Niedermeyer says:

    Evan: couldn’t agree more. I mean, who goes to Brails regularly without knowing that “the korean lady” is named Joy? The damn special is named after her, not to mention the fact that she is probably the friendliest person in this town.

    Also, I was amused by Knutsons “if we piss you off, we’re doing our job” letter. No mention of the piece, no mention of the fact that he oversaw a publication that printed overtly racist material, just a polite request to write more. We get it Ryan, you wish more people would post on your blog, just like you wish you had a columnist for every day of the week… I can only hope for everyones sake that yesterdays pinnacle of crapulence inspires a little more competition for columnist spots. As for the blog thing though, your only hope is probably printing more racism… oh, or you could always try out the old “naked jesus cartoons” chestnut.

  22. Jacque says:

    I really loved his article. Here is a great demonstration of how far we have NOT come. I want to point out that I am glad that people are calling his comments misguuided and racist because that is exactly what they are. Maybe thinks it is ok because he is african american (although he does look bi-racial to me…) so I want to applaud people for not being fooled: Racism is Racism…

  23. Evan says:

    I’m glad people are getting pissed off about this. Every week, his columns enrage me, yet I never take the time to respond to his bullshit. He’s such a fucking racist; just ask “the Korean lady at Brail’s”.
    What bothers me more than his blatant racism is the fact that he is a complete idiot, yet still gets to write columns every week.

  24. Doomscheissah says:

    If things go correctly, Ty will be tossed from his job in the MCC.

  25. Pete says:

    Ty can’t be racist…he’s black!

  26. Blaser says:

    Man, the ODE must be loving this … people are actually posting on their blog. This probably means that Ty will not only keep his job, but he’ll keep spitting out the same racist bullshit.

    And we thought things would be no fun without Ailee Slater.

  27. Jeremy says:

    Sounds to me that somebody’s a bit bitter that the hot little asian in his biology class shot him the hell down.

  28. Leeper says:

    Ty Schwoefferman is a complete-fucking-idiot. Just for kicks lets give him an “Another Perspective” column. On second thought, lets just kick him in the balls.

    His ramblings are reminscient of Malcom X style non-integration movements. What a D-bag.

  29. Niedermeyer says:

    Between the piece, and the cartoon, who’s size was exceeded only by it’s lack of originality, I think this was a new low for page 2.

  30. Sho says:

    I’m with Olly. This is hilarious.

    “Meaningful relationships might work in another country where social standards and cultural values are different.”

    Such as…? Give us an example, Ty. Some sort of magical Neverlandic nation where nobody has a remotely negative opinion about anybody else? Like, uh, France?

    If there is any country where interracial marriages “might work,” it’s the United States (oh, and I’ll throw in Canada and the UK). These relationships may not be formed in the most ideal of circumstances as obviously racism in many forms continues to exist today (like in today’s Emerald, for instance). But Schwoefferman’s criticism of these relationships, whether or not they are motivated by stereotypes, only discourages progress toward greater acceptance of differences, both racial and sexual.

    “In America no interracial couple will survive as long as negative prejudices exist in the general public’s conscience.”

    I’m willing to bet that my cousins, their husbands, and their racially mixed children would beg to differ. Oh, but I guess they’re not of “opposite race(s)” (whatever that means), so they don’t count.

  31. Olly says:

    “My initial reaction to any interracial couple holding hands is that “something isn’t right.” I can’t help it, but I have a strange uncontrollable reaction to the sight of an interracial couple when I see one.”

    That’s hilarious. I’m actually a little surprised the ODE decided to print this; it sends a bit of a mixed message when the columnist whose job it is to tediously lecture everyone about the evils of racism writes a piece saying that he’s an unrepentant racist his own self. (Still, you know, it’s not his fault – he’s a victim of society!)

  32. Ian says:

    That was probably the most overtly racist column I’ve ever read in a modern, mainstream publication. Ugh. It’s particularly disturbing that he brings up Emmett Till, since his position on interracial marriage seems to be more in line with the murderers than the victim.

  33. Timothy says:

    So I guess Mr. Schwoefferman and Bob Jones University agree on one thing: Mixed breeding will ruin the world and should be outlawed.

    Keeping good company there, Ty.

  34. Tseren says:

    Ty Schwoefferman is a racist piece of shit. We can only hope that either he grows up and realizes that putting food up your butt only leads to shit coming out of your mouth or is sterile, so as not to contaminate the rest of the gene pool with the idiocy he was born with.

  35. Blaser says:

    I know I for one “date black men because I want a brown baby.”

    Just don’t tell Ted.

    And since when was an interracial relationship defined as a white person and a black person brought together via stereotype? Does Mr. Schwoeffermann refuse to acknowlege any other interracial relationships, or the validity thereof?

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