If Vince McMahon ran the NBA, the Shaq-Kobe alliance would have ended abruptly last June, in the locker room, as they celebrated their third championship together. Imagine the stunning, WWE-style turn of events: Kobe inexplicably cracks a steel chair over Shaq’s bald noggin; teammates react in horror, Kobe dances over Shaq’s motionless body. Through it all, Bob Costas screams, “Nooooo!!! What is Kobe doing? My god, Kobe Bryant has lost his mind!”
Since Bill Simmons moved to LA and started writing for the god awful Jimmy Kimmel show, his columns have been recycled crap. But this one is pretty funny.
And I hope to God that none of you are rooting for the Blazers. Go for Sacramento. They’ve got Adelman after all. Or pick Dallas, if you like watching Don Nelson self-destruct. Go for Minnesota, KG is always fun to watch. Or join me in rooting for Philly. But don’t root for the Blazers. I’ll take LA over Portland. I mean it. I’d rather see Kobe punch in for 40 than see Randolph punch out Patterson.
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