Got a little captain in you?
So, let’s do a little role playing. You the exectutive of a liquor distillery. You lack morals, taste and a soul, so you come out with a wussified malt beverage, you disease ridden whore of humanity. Due to the fact that there is some justice in this world, the product falls flat on it’s pansy-ass. Now you have millions and millions of cases of booze that no self-respecting drunk would imbibe as long as there is a bottle of whiskey left on this planet. What do you do?
In June of this year, 145,000 cases of Captain Morgan Gold were found dumped on a farm in Pennsilvania. Although fedral officals refuse to comment on how the intoxicated farmland was discovered, rumors floating around say it was found when one fedral officer’s daughter came back home after visiting the farm intoxicated, passed out, was inexplicably violated by at least three frat boys and joined a sorority.
The mess was quickly cleaned up, thus ruining all of my wonderful plans of sewing barley and grapes in alcoholic soil.
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