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Utah to Residents: “You Weren’t Using that Brain, Were You?”

Utah, fertile land of censorship, book banning, and the usual infringements upon Constitutional rights. The other 49 states have come to expect this from Utah, but every family has its black sheep. The US is no exception.

Utah lawmakers’ latest attempt to keep children safe from the outside world

“Service providers which fail to disable access to pornography sites on the list, following a users request, can be subject to felony charges… Commentators are concerned about the vagueness of the law, and point out that the definition of provider is so broad that it could cover just about anything, including private homes with unencrypted wifi access points.”

Commentators are concerned about what?! How about further confusing the already confused children who dwell within the land of sister-polygyny, lame sex education , the nation’s most notorious polygamist , and bizarre liquor laws. Can you imagine being married to several women, not knowing how babies are made, being likened to Tom Green and not being able to drink it away after 7pm? Now, you can’t have porn, either! Madness!

This latest suggestion is not even close to the problem brought by a parent this January which alleged that the Red Cross blood donor questions are:
“very sexually explicit questions without parental consent,” said Ogborn, 37, who argued that state law dictates the sexual content to which students can be exposed, and by whom. Technicians’ questions like, “Have you ever had sex with a male who has sex with another male?” go too far, Ogborn said. “As a parent, how I read it, it looks to me like it violates the law.”

I think someone has control issues.

  1. dolly says:

    I stumbled on to this site by mere accident, but you all have given me a wonderful chuckal. I am from Utah, was raised in the mormon church, but when I became old enough to know better, I removed myself from the church and its bad influences. I just wanted to let you know there are those in Utah that think the laws and the mormons are very crazy, and I drink my beer in the comfort of my home to deal with the people and bizare laws that surround me and my family. Also I would know some volunteers who would be very willing to check out this websites for the uptight mormons. Glad to know there are normal people out there, even if it is outside of this state.

  2. Clint T. says:

    Do you think when these lawmakers are passing a bill like this.. they ever stop to think, “Hey, this might be unconstitutional…”

    I mean, I kind of liken it to when I’m masturbating.. “Hey, I’m about to make a really big mess and there’s the potential for someone to stroll in right now and witness all of it. I better grab a towel.”

  3. Melissa says:

    Just the minors who like the self-pleasure, apparently.

  4. Timothy says:

    Isn’t Mormonism harmful to minors?

  5. Melissa says:

    On the one hand, they could just outsource those jobs to India. On the other, is some internet-jockey overseas going to have the same definition of “material harmful to minors” as Elder Mormon in SLC? I think not. Time to harvest some souls.

  6. Clint T. says:

    Thats a damn file point Mel!

    Not only in this a law to decrease the unemployment rate, but its a law to decrease the decency of Utahians by making them witness to porn as they surf to block porn sites.

    …and based on those two points…

    …I think this is a GREAT LAW for Utah!

  7. Melissa says:

    Meh, maybe just Utah. I think the Red Cross should have replied to that woman that if she wants a transfusion of tainted homosexual blood, she’s welcome to it..that would have fixed her little red wagon. People of “high morals” can’t pick and choose acceptable situations.

    Clint: Individual porn sites are what, 3/4 of the internet? But in order to employ people to identify those sites, they’d have to look at the porn on the sites themselves. What soul-cherishing Utahian would be willing to look at porn?

  8. Ian says:

    This is a ridiculous law. This is equivalent to forcing auto manufacturers to install controls in their vehicles that ensure drivers won’t go over the speed limit or have sex in the back seat.

    Personal responsibility has been dead for quite some time in this country.

  9. Clint T. says:

    Warrants mention:

    “Actually this plan has nothing to do with internet pornography, rather its a law designed to lower the unemployment rate in Utah. It must be, can you imagine the work involved in maintaining an up to date adult content registry that is effective enough to be worthwhile? Because it seems they are not talking about a register of keywords / bayesian filter data etc, but a register of actual websites.”

    –From ZacOz

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