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Coming Soon: Hate 2005

The OC is (apparently) on its annual pre-Hate hiatus. I have just returned from assignment sleeping on the streets of Berkeley, Atkinson has convinced the staff of the Sixth Street Grill to create a margarita large enough for him to be bodily suspended therein, Ian is still at work on a system of subterranean tunnels designed to give us easier access to Johnson Hall, Melissa is engaged in strategic discussions with Ward Connerly, and Ben Hartley is off spending some quality time with his hookah.

As for our heroic editor-in-chief, I’m not sure what the story is. However, I’ve fielded three calls from EPD within the last two hours enquiring as to his whereabouts, so I’m sure it’s good news.

  1. Anonymous says:

    Well, we were talking about “the cure for,” but it’s good to see small dicked mother fuckers nitpicking over not making a post long-winded enough.

  2. Timothy says:

    Remind me not to go there.

  3. Danimal says:

    They give out Gonorrhea at your pharmacy, Clint?

  4. Clint says:

    Spelling things like that become extremely important when you need to order the prescription over the internet, eh Mel?

  5. Melissa says:

    If you could spell Gonorrhea correctly, Scott, maybe you could identify and avoid getting it.

  6. Timothy says:

    Ain’t no cure for the herpe.

  7. Scott says:

    You want to know what’s really ironic? They have penicilin for Ghonoreah and Syphlis, so I worry more about contract stuff than I do VDs. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha……….ouch, where’s my beer?

  8. Timothy says:

    No worries, Scott, hope Asia is treating you well…save the occasional contract dispute and VD.

  9. Scott says:

    Fair enough Tim. See, I’m too tired now on a Thursday to even argue. Cheers to working hard and saving a grand a month!


  10. Timothy says:

    It’s mainly the bad haircut, and the dress. Oh yeah, and being a douchebag.

  11. Melissa says:

    Well, Scott, I don’t know you. So I can’t say I have enough experience to hate you. Yet. But everyone I know hates you…

  12. Scott says:

    Thanks Tim. It’s just, nobody really hates me here — it’s sort of difficult to do things that garner hatred when you work 50+ hours a week, I’ve discovered. Not impossible, just much more difficult. Anyway, I miss that thrill of being the most hated person in the room, though the addictin is beginning to fade as calouses develop on my liver. Oh well, here’s to my next beer.

  13. Timothy says:

    Don’t worry, Scott, I still hate you.

  14. Olly says:

    Sorry, Scott. You haven’t threatened to sue us yet this year; that puts you towards the back of the pack.

  15. Scott says:


    Do I get to be the most hated person this year? Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes!

    P.S. Melissa, just so you know it’s me, Asian women love me and I love them back!

  16. Tyler says:

    Man, I got the cover art from Cassidy yesterday, and although he may say it isn’t that great, I think it’s going to look awesome once Ian colorizes it. Sweet!

  17. Melissa says:

    And I promised them that once it was done they’d have their pick of administrative assistants.

    Gee thanks Ian. Selling us out to the ugly little tunnel dwellers. Have you no decency, sir?

  18. Timothy says:

    There is no God, Tyler, did I teach you nothing?

  19. Tyler says:

    I’ve been cowering in fear in the office. The issue is almost done … God willing.

  20. Ian says:

    That tunnel shit wasn’t supposed to be public. Now the administration knows about our chain-gang of unclothed and malnurished tunneling gnomes. And I promised them that once it was done they’d have their pick of administrative assistants.

    I’ve given the gnomes your address, Ruff.You’re the one who will have to satiate their wild desires now.

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