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This Internet is Not a Truck. It’s a Blog Post.

So I thought I’d post this on the Commentator’s Internet. This Internet by Wired News shows how Senator Ted Stevens (R-AK) sometimes receives his Internets late:

I just the other day got, an internet was sent by my staff at 10 o’clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday. Why?

Because it got tangled up with all these things going on the internet commercially.

What is causing this delay in Internets? Why, other people sending Internets, of course. These rogue Internet senders are dumping things onto the Internet, confusing it for a truck. Senator Stevens corrects these morons, reminding his colleagues just what the Internet is:

And again, the internet is not something you just dump something on. It’s not a truck.

It’s a series of tubes.

And if you don’t understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and its going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.

As Stevens tells it, the Internet is a series of tubes that other Internets are sent down. And apparently, there’s absolutely no way to regulate what ratio of Internets goes down the tubes. So when Ted Stevens forgets his Suicide Girls password and needs it Interneted to him, there’s a good chance it will get stuck.

Of course, people who actually understand how the Internet works realize that the flow of content in the “tubes” is already regulated by most ISPs through packet prioritization– and this is A Good Thing. A University like UO can make sure that BitTorrent traffic, for instance, isn’t crowding out the all-important transmission of horse porn spam. This is lost on Stevens who, as you would imagine, has the scruples of a chav with knife in hand.

Oh, and for a good laugh, listen to this stuttering yokel speak.

  1. Senator Ted says:

    Stop jamming my internets you dumb cunts. I’ll tear you a new asshole.

  2. Andy says:

    If the UO ever de-prioritized bestiality…that is when riots will fill the streets.

  3. Timothy says:

    I say we punch him.

  4. Jared says:

    He’s a regular Patrick Henry. Well, at least he’s passionate about … well, something.

  5. Niedermeyer says:

    I listened to that, and it was confusing.

    He confused me.

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