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Sudsy Wants You to Join the Oregon Commentator


The Weekly does it again! The hardest hitting news outlet in town takes us inside the secret War On Nutria that is currently being perpetrated on the UO campus. According to a news brief in the 8/10 issue, UO employees are trapping and killing these cute ‘n cuddly giant rats who have been munching veggies at the campus urban farm. Although nutria are a non-native, invasive species, Kerry Barwell who was the brave whistleblower in this story, says that these animals’ “only crime is eating, so the university made the decision to kill them.” As the conscience of campus journalism, The Commentator would like to be the first to call for President Frohnmayer’s resignation, and deportation to The Hague for immediate war crimes prosecution.

  1. Gabrielle says:

    The nutria don’t live “unchecked.” They are not very tolerant of freezes. So, during cold winters their numbers contract. But….. in my opinion, any critter that eats my garden or moves into my home is fair game. The case for wiping them out has not been proven to me but keeping them in check would be wise. That means killing them. What are we going to do, build a nutria retirement home?

  2. Neums "The Token Jew" says:

    Monica L. = Jew = Jewish media conspiracy = Allen hall discrimination! Is anyone else seeing this?!? In truth, the distribution crap is screwed up. I hope that gets changed.

  3. Miles Rost says:

    May as well. I’m gonna be losing them in a year when I leave this hellhole.

  4. Meghann says:

    ooooohhh Miles is going to use one of his connections. How bad ass.

  5. Miles Rost says:

    Well, y’know…I’ll talk to Al at the J school. He may be able to help.

  6. Timothy says:

    Hotter than Monica Lewinsky, at least.

  7. niedermeyer says:

    Das Frohn has been kind enough to send some nutria slave laborers from one of the death camps. Distrobution has improved massively. The hotness question is your call.

  8. Timothy says:

    Dude, when did y’all get interns? Are they hot?

  9. Blaser says:

    Yeah, the intern should also clean out the ocomment email — I just spent 40 minutes deleting 1600 emails. I found it interesting that almost every erectile dysfunction email had been opened. Is there something Ian needs to tell us?

  10. Bryan says:

    We actually had a distribution box on the landing in front of Allen Hall for about a month. Sue, the lady in Allen Hall’s administrative office, gave me permission personally. Then, when the box appeared and her boss shit a brick, she pretended she’d never spoken to me before and asked us to move the box. They say it’s because of space, but our box fit perfectly against the railing across from the three that have been there forever. One of those three is the Oregon Peaceworker– they don’t even distribute in that box. I suggested that we just slap a sticker on their box and start putting our issues into it, but that got vetoed as being against Commentator values– something about *respect for property*.

    Anyway, Sue has encouraged us to put a folder together containing our entire archive and to house it in that little library they have. As Andy says, sounds like a good job for an intern.

  11. andy says:

    that sounds like a good job for an intern! yeah!!

  12. Timothy says:

    Just go put issues in whatever that supid library-like room they have is. That’s what I always did.

  13. Tyler says:

    If memory serves me, they used to allow our publications ( the Voice and OC) to distribute there. Their overall argument is pretty lame — if we allow your publication to distribute here, then we’ll have to allow EVERY student publication to distribute here. Well, no shit. However, there’s only so much space in front of that building. They could easily designate space using a first-come-first-serve basis, like the rest of the fucking University.

  14. sara brickner says:

    this is completely unrelated to nutrias, so you can delete it afterward. (although i do agree– nutrias are non-native and invasive and should not be eating the urban farm garden.)

    i think we should make some kind of collaborative effort (with the insurgent, if you all can stomach it) to get ourselves racks or boxes in allen hall. it’s already fairly obvious that the j-school tries to produce a certain breed of journalist, but i just found out that not only do most professors only recommend the emerald to students (at least, in all the classes i’ve taken so far), they also refuse to distribute the voice or any other pub that isn’t the ODE. i think this is completely unacceptable. we deserve to try and get journalism students to read and be interested in our publications. you guys feel like putting your fine-tuned debate skills to some good use? unless, of course, you don’t really care about having a box in allen hall, in which case you can ignore this. e-mail me if you’re down.

  15. Tyler says:

    The Reg Guard printed a story about eating Nutria the other day in their food section. Maybe that’s the answer — the answer to feeding the homeless.

  16. Jerome says:

    These animals cause millions of dollars damage yearly by their feeding habits and also compromise the levee system. I cannot say that I agree with killing them but they have to be capture in some way, which is sure.

  17. Tyler says:

    I work for a utilities board. That’s all I’ll say. I make enough money. I’ll be finishing my degree this year. I hope I’ve sated your seemingly insatiable appetite for details concerning my life.

    How’s the job countering the Jewish media hegemony, Nick?

  18. Nick says:

    It’s been seven hours since Tyler posted a comment. He MUST feel burned.

  19. Meghann says:


  20. Timothy says:

    This problem has been solved for now. Handy how one can ban IPs at the server level using the cpanel.

  21. Armchair Shrink says:


  22. Nick says:

    Don’t you work at a fast-food restaurant, Tyler?

  23. Tyler says:

    I also have better luck with women than you, Deb.

  24. Tyler says:

    I saw Deb on cable access last night. She said she’s going to sue FOX News. Man, that sounds great. Can we be next? Litigation is the first step on the long road to salvation.

    P.S. I can hold down a job, Deb. And the last time I checked, there were zero restraining orders against me.

  25. Blaser says:

    Am I the only one in believing that at least a Phd in gym could think of some better insults than good ol’ Deb? Jesus — if you are going to hurl the insults around, you could at least update the vocab.

    And please do me a favor — stop trying to seem “hip” and “with it” by using such words as “boyz” and “thanx”. We all know you are old and dried up, as well as sad and pathetic. Take a hint, act your age, and grow up. I would laugh, but it is really too sad.


  26. Budro says:

    Import Cajuns’. Lot’s of Cajuns’.

  27. Niedermeyer says:

    Oh, and who else is excited for Carrie Packwood-Freemans upcoming “Fourplay” column “The Ethics Behind Nutria: Lets give the little cuties more hugs!”

  28. Niedermeyer says:

    Aw deb, we love you too. So much so, in fact, that you are getting your own award in the upcoming (I swear) “Tater Awards” issue. It’s very flattering.

    And thank you for your comments. It is so hard to decide what you are best at: reasoned debate, good cyber-citizenship, or pedophiliac cybersex.

    Anyway, we all know where to find “teh krazy” when we get the hankerin’, so please keep the web-psychodrama-gibberish to a minimum.


  29. deb says:

    who is the sissy pissant who deleted my comments this a.m. thanx, by the way – it motivated me to share my feelings about lorraine “i got a ph.d. in gym” on my own website. but you guyz really are pathetic sissies. but you know that already, i reckon.

    timmy boy – tyler – you are pathetic pissants!

  30. Andy says:

    My favorite critter down there was the iguanas.

  31. Timothy says:

    If we had to import a South American rodent, couldn’t it have at least been something radder?

  32. Andy says:

    If we can do it to the mosquitos, we can conquer the demon-rats!

  33. karl says:

    They are from America, but the South one. They have to live as well. If this

  34. Andy says:

    Uhm, do you remember a city called New Orleans? Didn’t exist for awhile. And isn’t survival itself nature?

    You’re spot on Ted.

  35. Charles Montgomery Burns says:

    Oooh, so Mother Nature needs a favor?! Well maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys! Nature started the fight for survival, and now she wants to quit because she’s losing. Well I say, hard cheese.

  36. Niedermeyer says:

    I’m really not against invasive species on principle, the way some are. Ecosystems change, and pretending that the environment should be “preserved” in some static “original state” is delusional. At the same time, Nutria multiply like crazy, are not particularly attractive, and eat things that don’t belong to them. Call me overly sentimental, but the whole “it’s alive so don’t kill it” arguement really doesn’t extend to rodents, spiders, or tweaker bike thiefs. Mother Earth can just put that in her pipe and smoke it.

  37. Liz says:

    Wow… I always thought that nutria were indigenous to the swamp behind the Best Western(s) on Franklin…

  38. Ben says:

    Nutria are not even native to the US. They were imported and raised on farms for their pelts. Then once their pelts were no longer the hot item the nutria farms closed down many just letting their nutria into the wild where they have gone pretty much unchecked since then.

  39. Timbo says:

    Nutria are bad news. They look like largish beavers with stubby tails. A German Shepard can take one out, but not without taking serious injury in return. The population needs to be controlled, preferably wiped out, and a metal stake through the brainpan is a pretty humane way of doing it.

    Ah, Eugene. “But English Ivy and Morning Glory are so beautiful”

  40. Timothy says:

    Xenocide…is that the new Xenogears game? I haven’t seen it yet….

  41. Miles Rost says:

    So, would mass murder of scientologists be considered Xenucide?

  42. Niedermeyer says:

    yeah, that just doesn’t have the same ring to it…

  43. Andy says:

    I think it’s called xenocide…

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