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The People vs. Tyler Graf

Tired of Tyler Graf’s highly offensive and controversial ODE columns ruining everything that Ailee Slater helped build over the past few years? Well, there’s finally a Facebook group you can join to help get this “hegemonic heterosexist” fired from the respected op/ed institution that is Page 2 of the Emerald. (Current member count: 3. Come on people!) Here’s the money quote:

His editorials are useless, and should only be used to line wastepaper baskets or litterboxes. Basically, he has been convicted of multiple counts of douchebagery.

“Douchebagery”! How do you respond to that charge, Mr. Graf?

Only two questions are left:

  • Will a mere Facebook group be effective enough? The ODE braintrust might respond better to, say, an online petition.
  • Who should the Emerald replace Graf with? My early choice is Mr. Jonah Darwish. Darwish, the third member of the Fire Graf group, lists the following interests in his Facebook profile:

    Herb. Also, my dreads, my guitar, hippie babes, tye-dye, the Saturday Market, my hack, Ultimate, scoring free bagels, mellow conversation, mate (it’s like this Argentinian tea), the outdoors, Holy Cow, and veganism.

    Think of the potential columns!

  1. T says:

    Poor Jonah.

  2. Jonah says:

    Schwoefferman has got a great new column in the Emerald today, in which he sticks it to the bigot Graf! Check it out. Oh, and I don’t know how to make clickable links yet; I’m new to this technology thing.

  3. Timothy says:

    Ted: They put out a daily, that’s tough work.

  4. Blaser says:

    Oh, I’ll facebook you, Jonah … you really understand what a woman wants.

  5. Jonah says:

    Hey Melissa, thanks for the kind words. You’ve really opened my eyes to my own bigotry; I can’t believe I’ve been such a heterosexist my entire life. I’ve decided to give men a go, too. You seem like a chill lady, by the way (I procrastinate too!). We should meet up sometime for tea. Facebook me.

  6. Jonah says:

    Wow, now the Oregon Commentator is supporting censorship of free speech too? Why would you support such oppression, T?

  7. niedermeyer says:

    There are good things to say about ‘Ol Dirty?

  8. T says:

    We all remember the Mindi Rice Debacle: Mindi, however, used a pseudonym to write some nasty things about the sports section, which she had formerly edited. When she posted those comments, she was working as an ODE copy editor, and I don’t think she was even a student. It was pretty obvious why she got fired.

    Meghann, Jared and Sho (when he was at the ODE) used to post comments, back in the day. But they never got on here and said terrible things about their publication either.

  9. niedermeyer says:

    Hey Neums, are the ‘Ol Dirty Crowd allowed to post here? We’ve been a bit confused about that policy…

  10. Melissa says:

    Although it is against my judgment to get involved, I am procrastinating the writing of a thesis chapter and this is the best way to do it:

    Being “like, all for women

  11. Neums "The Token Jew" says:

    Not to split hairs here, but “editorials” are written by the “editorial board” (a distinction I know the OCers are aware of – this is mostly for the newly media literate) and Tyler Graf is not a member of that club. Just an FYI.

  12. Doomscheissah says:

    Ian, knowing you, I expected that remark. *chuckle*

  13. Ian says:

    This is possibly the most productive blog post I’ve ever made.

  14. Jonah says:

    “Nominal” my ass! Don’t believe the right-wing lies of this publication. and Andy, how is calling you a racist a racist thing? Quit trying to mix people up with your doublethink!

  15. Demosthenes says:

    I think diversity is a racist term no matter when it is used. This Jonah guy is a “dush” bag; I met him once at a party, where he berated me for eating meat and then told me that I HAD to listen to “Anarchy Hour” on KWVA.

  16. Niedermeyer says:

    A real dude with a real email address from the UO…

    For shame, Stewart, For shame.

  17. T says:

    Yes, a stroke indeed. And it was carefully worded. I’ll carefully word this, too:

    It is not me. Nope. But Jonah is a real dude.

  18. niedermeyer says:

    dammit… I’ve been had. I should have known it. Anything that seems too good to be true usually is.

  19. niedermeyer says:

    Don’t belittle your movement? What “movement” is that again? The scoring free bagels and rapping with hippy chicks at the saturday market about the environmetal racism movement? And how does your movement define “environmental racism,” or “heterosexism” for that matter? Hell, there’s a scooby snack in it for you if you can give me definition of the word “diversity” that makes any sense.

  20. Olly says:

    T: “Keep in mind, fellas, that not everyone on Facebook is who he or she says… I

  21. Andy says:

    So I say that there is racial tension on campus and I’m a racist, but when Ty does it’s “rapping about important stuff.” Maybe it’s your group that publishes hate speech. Saying I’m a racist is hate speech in your definition. The only thing that should stop is you fucking socialist assholes trying to enslave me.

    How bout that?

  22. Leeper says:

    Oh, and I forgot to mention:

    seeriosly liek he is like soooooooooo mean. he totally hates on taylors all the time and like duz he evn go their?!?!?!?11? it is like SOOOO fun!!!!11!! N like my boyfrend is n a frat so liek not ALLL frat guyz r gay, k??????? he is totali gay for bein SUCH a homophob! the emerald shoud totally FIRE tylr graff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  23. Leeper says:

    In order to get rid of Tyler we need to reinstitute some pro tar-and-feather legislation. Ill provide the feathers.

  24. T says:

    I’ve had the pleasure of meeting Jonah. I can attest to his nominal existance.

  25. Olly says:

    Duder: “This Jonah guy can

  26. Olly says:

    Jonah: “You guys shouldn

  27. Jonah says:

    That’s just the reply I would expect from a heterosexist publication such as this one.

  28. Doomscheissah says:


    You get the job by licking the nutsack of Ryan Knutson.

  29. Jonah says:

    By the way, how can I get a job writing columns at the Emerald?

  30. Jonah says:

    You guys shouldn’t belittle our movement with your insecure mockery. Tyler Graf gets away with publishing hate speech every week, and it has to stop.
    And Andy, your the racist! Your the one who keeps mentioning peoples skin color and opposing diversity! Ty Schwoefferman is the best columnist the EMerald has. He raps about important stuff, like hate crimes on campus, Kolumbus day, and Eugene’s killer hip hop scene.

  31. Andy says:

    Well at least Schoefferman’s piece wasn’t blatantly racist today. If I can go a day without racist statements made my people of color at the UO, that will be a good day.

  32. Ian says:

    Now that’s a spelling mistake I’d expect an ASUO official to make.

  33. Goward says:

    Sorry about the extra T

  34. Timothy says:

    Who is this “Graft” fellow?

  35. Goward says:

    You godda love this Jonah guy, I know I do… but still, the first question should not be weather to remove Graft… it should be how to deal with Schwoefferman… as I would read Graft’s column any day over Schwoefferman’s. Maybe they should have a face off… then Graft would prove his mental and moral superiority over the other!

  36. T says:

    That does not mean that I AM anyone other than myself on Facebook, having relinquished my duties as a fictional mug of pilsner long ago. I haven’t taken on any identities since. Keep that in mind.

  37. T says:

    Keep in mind, fellas, that not everyone on Facebook is who he or she says.

  38. Duder or El Dudarino if you're not into the whole brevity thing says:

    This Jonah guy can’t be serious:

    “I’m a pretty laid back and chill guy. I’m way open-minded and shit; I respect all people’s beliefs and think there is no wrong religion (except maybe Christians). I’m, like, all for women’s rights and shit, and the environment and eco-feminism.”

  39. niedermeyer says:

    I can understand the charges of racism land heterosexism leveled against Mr. Graf, but the wild accusations of douchebaggery make a hollow mockery of our efforts in battling the scourge of global douchebaggery.

  40. Sucka Mofo says:

    If Mr. Graf has enemies like these he must be doing something right. Double his editorials, Emerald! Print them in 18-point font across the front page!

  41. Olly says:

    “Related groups: Habeas Corpus, RIP; Global Vegan Network; Bob Marley Fan Club; UO Maintenance Crew; Vegans.”

    Sign me up!

  42. "Douchebag" T says:

    Make that FOUR members, Ian.

  43. "Douchebag" T says:

    No comment. You can take it up with my publicist. Tom Cruise just fired her.

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