As noted yesterday on the ODE website, there’s been a severe water outage on campus for the past two days. Many buildings on campus, including Knight Library and the EMU, have had such low water pressure that flushing toilets or using water fountains is impossible. As of 10:00 AM this morning, Facilities Services still does not know what the problem is being caused by. And as one would expect, there’s no notice on the UO or Facilities Services websites that there is a significant problem on campus. After all, you wouldn’t want to let prospective students know that the University can’t keep its basic infrastructure maintained.

But while a lot of negative nancies are looking at the downside to this (oh boohoo, you can’t use the restroom– that’s what Pioneer Cemetery is for you sissy), we at the Commentator like to look at the positive side of things:

• A water outage? Sounds like a good cost-cutting measure. Who needs running water when you can have Ozomatli, a new basketball arena, and multiple days of remembrance? Spending money on infrastructure while there are special interests to satiate is hurtful and racist.
• It’s good for the environment. Every time you commit a hurtful and selfish act of defecation, millions of bacteria and countless gallons of water are wasted. Flushed away, if you will. This is water that could have gone to something useful, like a pizza party.
• Water is primarily used in gendered restrooms on campus. These gendered restrooms, which are based on the old, puritan, binary genitalia’d model of society, were hurting our campus to the core. If these patriarchal devices can no longer be used then they can no longer oppress.

There, now don’t you feel better that you have to walk half a mile just to take a piss?

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 20th, 2007 at 10:17 by Ian and is filed under ASUO, Campus, Oregon. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.