America, fuck yeah!
When in the course of human events it becomes necessary to eat a disgusting amount of hot dogs in a short space of time, America will always be the best. Joey Chestnut claimed victory (as well as a world record) today at Nathan’s Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest by eating a stunning 66 hot dogs in 12 minutes. The former champion, Takeru Kobayashi of Japan, fell short of Chestnut’s mark by three franks.
This is perhaps the biggest symbolic victory for the U.S. since Rocky beat that big, Russian guy in Rocky IV – doubly so since it happened on Independence Day. Now we can forever remember the 4th of July for two reasons: the day we proclaimed independence and the day we took our rightful crown as hot dog eating champions of the world.
