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Just another Friday morning…

Hey there. Just sittin around. It’s early. Not really doing much. Wondering how the day will…what the hell, the ASUO drafted a diversity plan? This can’t be any good. Let’s see, mission statement. Contact with diverse member of the community, sounds good to me. Encourage groups to participate in activities about diversity, not sure why that needs to be said, but ok. “Create ways for students to engage one another on issues of diversity.” Nice. Oh please let there me something about a central place for students to meet and chat like a bar or a pub or a tavern or a brothel.

Ooo, ten points to follow, maybe the bar is in there.

– “…accessible cultural responsiveness;” sure.


– “…cultural responsiveness trainings” if you need this you are a jackass, then again, look who this was created by.


– “Increase faculty communication;” good point.


– “Increase scholarships targeted to reach underrepresented students,” well there are a lot of those already, I guess that might be good.


– “…increasing diversity among faculty.  Create more tenured positions to retain faculty;” oh no, oh no, I see where this is going.


– “Increase the diversity in academic subjects and in all courses;” spend money, of course, at least you not advocating using student money for this.


– “Increase the recruitment and retention of underrepresented students;” I’m no fan of brainwashing.


– “Increase funding support for multicultural programming in departments…” No!. That is a bad ASUO! That is a bad, naughty ASUO. You can’t buy diversity. Why can’t you understand this is the most shallow, inefficient way to handle any problem with diversity? You are not some magical organization that can sprinkle ferry Benjamins all over campus and come spring time a complete batch of unbiased and rational-thinking students will emerge. Damn you ASUO. Stop spending money just because you don’t have the wits to solve problems any other way! You keep this up and you are going straight to bed without…Don’t you give me that look mister! You are cruisin for a bruisin, I am on my last nerve with you.


– “Strengthen community linkages on issues of equity, access, recruitment, retention and campus climate;” phew, excuse me, got a little worked up there; this one is nice, thanks for calming me down.


– “Increase the promotion of community and district-wide organizations and events that promote the inclusive and educational foundation of diversity;” oh bloody hell.

Oh good, extended outlines. “Building Critical Mass,” that sounds like what happens when I take one tequila shot to many. “Expanding and Filling the Pipe Line,” now I know I’m going to throw up. Luckily, the vagueness of the rest of it allowed me to keep my breakfast down.

  1. Miles says:

    There is a difference between Polyculturalism and Multiculturalism.

    Multiculturalism (or Diversity on this campus) is inherently racist.

    Polyculturalism (which many more people subscribe to) is not.

  2. Vincent. says:

    Diversity = Bring Back Clancy Thurbers!

  3. Timothy says:

    Diversity != variance in melanin content.

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