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Eugene Weekly letter roundup: opening up 2008 with a stumble

So much hogwash to get to, so little time. 

Judy Dellar kicks off this week’s LTTE by frowning upon the property tax / 10-year bond that the Eugene City Council is proposing to stick on May ballots “ – this time to provide emergency shelter and affordable housing for the homeless.” Deller has one good line, “I am dismayed that the City Council seems to view property owners as their ready reserve,” but the rest of it is babble. I don’t know why the EW ran this first, since it needs some serious fact checking. The proposed property tax is reported to help pay the $170 log jam the city has for street repairs and such (though I’ve been out of town so I may have missed something). Deller must be one of the “Eugeniuses” she attempts to belittle. 

Moving on, there is another letter about Gustavo Arellano’s column, ¡Ask a Mexican! Pass. 

This week’s Yee Haw!! goes to Rodney C. Cimburke Jr. of Cottage Grove, who pisses and moans about Eugeneans’ pissing and moaning. 

Dear whiny, disgruntled Eugeneans: What will you bitch about next week? … Give me a break, children! Most of you preach tolerance (rag it to death, in fact), but are you not the most intolerant creatures on the planet?

Whenever a new idea crops up, you immediately pop it under your microscopes and scour it for flaws, PC discrepancies and ways that it doesn’t jibe with your paradigm in general. This being the case, you all must really hate yourselves, for if there’s one thing you will simply not put up with, it’s a sanctimonious hypocrite, right?

Cheers, Rodney. We get a kick out of the “frothy ravings of a bunch of angry, petty adult dumbasses” too. 

Following that winner is a plug for “Clearcutting the Climate,” a conference on Jan. 26 at the University. Pass.

Next is a response to a bitchy Eugene biker. This actually is a nice, simple letter that clears up the Oregon biking law, which requires bikes to “ride as close as practicable to the right curb or edge of the roadway.” Unfortunatly, the law does not grant drivers the right to hit bikers who don’t obey the law. 

Then there is, as expected, a weekly rant about impeaching Bush, followed by a letter claiming Kucinich as the bee’s knees when it comes to presidential candidates. Pass.

Rounding out the week, a silly and annoying attempt at satire, I think, about a few Republican candidates, and a plead from Mary Jo Davis of Cottage Grove to the BLM to rethink its plan to cut remaining old growth arbor. I leave you with Davis’ opening paragraph; beware, it may make you douse yourself in patchouli, climb a tree and scream “damn the man!”

The Earth is the only planet in the universe that has running water, air to breathe and multiple life forms [someone can’t think outside the box] and is just the right distance from an energy source [Oprah’s loins?] the sun [oh]. It is a delicate balance [so is my drinking habit]. It is the only place we know like this. For the last 200 years, humans have attempted to control nature [No, 200 years ago, humans finally figured out how to, we were attempting for thousands]. This has resulted in high standard of living for many of us [who got their Wii for x-mas?]. It also has resulted in polluted water, air and agricultural systems. Many species have gone extinct [good riddance Dodo]. We are out of balance with nature and on a destructive path [or as Angus would but it, a Highway to Hell]. We humans have a choice to become extinct or not [if you love Earth so much, don’t you want all humans to die?].

Happy New Year.

  1. Olly says:

    “But it

  2. Timothy says:

    I’m calling non-sequitur shenanigans on this! Josh, dude, have you considered heading down to the ER to have that large branch removed from your colon?

    But it

  3. Sakaki says:

    Frankly, I think if a Critical Mass rider happens to disobey traffic laws, it should be open season.

    Hence the reason no one will allow me to run for governor.

  4. Sean says:

    Seeing as you are a law-abiding biker, you should have nothing to worry about, Josh! We only lamented the illegality of hitting bikers DISobeying traffic laws.
    Happy trails.

  5. Daniel says:

    I couldn’t understand some parts of this article Eugene Weekly letter roundup: opening up 2008 with a stumble, but I guess I just need to check some more resources regarding this, because it sounds interesting.

  6. Ossie says:

    Hey Josh, didn’t get the phone call (not sure what our phonemailbox code is), but we got your e-mail. Thanks for the response, we always like getting mail.

    I

  7. Josh Schlossberg says:

    Commentators,

    I will be on the UO campus on Wednesday for a meeting and if I have time I will try to stop by your office to see if we can briefly chat about the whole running over cyclist thing.

    Josh

  8. Josh Schlossberg says:

    This is Josh Schlossberg following up on my phone call to your office earlier this week. Thought I’d email since no one called me back.

    Just wanted to respond to your hilarious blog comment suggesting it’s funny to kill cyclists with cars. This comment could only come from someone who doesn’t ride their bike around town very often. So I’m wondering why you’d comment on something you know so little about.

    I’m a cyclist and I am one of the most law abiding and safe cyclists I have seen out on the streets. Just the same, daily I am almost killed by inattentive, ignorant and sometimes malevolent motorists, due to no fault of my own. Are you saying that because some cyclists choose to risk their own safety by disobeying traffic laws, that they (and I, myself) should be run over and killed?

    I understand it was a joke. But jokes are supposed to be funny.

    Now, it’s not that there can’t be funny jokes about people being run over. I’m sure there are many. But it’s not a funny joke when the subject of the joke is the person who is already living the real-life joke of almost being killed on the streets every day for trying to a do a decent thing by using leg muscles instead of oil.

    A truly funny joke would instead level the playing field of power and poke fun at the ones who are doing the running over, rather than the ones being crushed under the wheels. That would be a strong and courageous use of wit, to poke fun at the dominating elements of society (ie: car use), instead of just propping up the status quo, which the Commentator folks, for some strange reason, think is a worthwhile thing to do with their limited time on this Earth.

    I am available if you want to explain to me in person why you think it’s funny for cyclists to be mangled.

    Hope to hear back this time,

    Josh

  9. Timothy says:

    You know, that Ask a Mexican column runs in the alt-weekly here and nobody seems that upset about it. I guess in a town full of Mexicans people get what the joke is supposed to be.

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