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Breaking News: OLCC Still Totally Sucks

The OLCC is putting the kaibosh on a local vineyard’s attempt to actually do something cool. AgriVino Wine Center recently installed a fancy-pants new tasting room, complete with a self-serve wine tasting machine. From the McMinnville News-Register:

AgriVino offered visitors the opportunity to get a taste of and detailed information about Yamhill Wine Country before they ventured out into it. At the core of the operation was the Enomatic wine dispensing and preservation system.

This Italian-made device, legal for use in California and most other states, consists of individual units or stations holding up to eight wines each. The machines read a prepaid smart card that allows a maximum of 10 one-ounce pours over a two-hour period.

Licensed employees oversee the operation, offering advice, answering questions, disseminating information and controlling issuance of the cards. But customers insert the card and push the button to dispense the selected wine themselves.

Can you see where this is going? That’s right, those jackleg panty-waists over at the OLCC issued the ol’ “cease and desist” letter to AgriVino, saying that the machine violated their rules against self-service. Hat tip to Blue Oregon, which included this whopper of an opening paragraph:

As a good lefty, I have a natural affinity for government.  I think it tends to support the smooth function of society in a way that would be inconceivable without it. But even I have moments when certain actions by certain agencies raise my libertarian dander.  It seems like the OLCC is often that certain agency, and we have a recent, certain action that is a case in point for dander-raising.

Can you really love government and then start crying when it stomps all over your balls?

  1. CJ Ciaramella says:

    Aw, shucks. I just hope nobody finds out about those war crimes …

  2. Sakaki says:

    Exactly, Michelle. CJ has an air of awesomeness that certain people wish they had.

  3. Michelle Haley says:

    Why CJ would get picked on confuses me, he’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met.

  4. Sakaki says:

    In response to IdiotCertification and IdiotLicensing, and in a third-party response not related to CJ in any way shape or form:

    Get AIDS and Die, OLCC Goatnuggets.

  5. Sean says:

    Haha…whoops, forgot to end the tag.

  6. Sean says:

    CJ, I never knew that about you. Sounds like you got a real catch with the Idiots here (possibly related to The Stupids?)

    When are you going to drop that crack pipe and come shooting with me next?

  7. IdiotLicensing says:

    It was brought to our attention by the Idiot Certification Committee to investigate further into your stupidity. Upon further review, It was determined that you received too much brain damage while in your youth by your parents, and crack smoking. In addition, we would like to point out that you don’t know the difference between your head and arse from a recent IQ exam while filing for welfare. In conclusion, the evidence proves your wisdom is equivalent what comes out your ass . Good Day.

  8. IdiotCertification says:

    CJ Ciaramella , you are an ass clown. Your campus community sent us to give you this certification proving that you are an idiot. Our committee was honored when your campus granted us this important task, and their word was delivered. You are a buffoon and a moron.

  9. Chris Holman says:

    I don’t know, I’m a fan of a lot of government things…

    The military
    Education in general
    Road Repair
    Environmental Protection

    And, in the United States of America, it is a complete and saddening embarrassment that there are people who do not have health insurance. People like to tout the US as ‘the best’ but in a lot of ways we have somehow ended up retarding ourselves…literally and figuratively.


    But yeah, the OLCC sucks.

  10. Vincent says:

    Does the Enomatic play a selection from Here Come the Warm Jets while it’s dispensing wine?

  11. Timothy says:

    CJ – Nice find.

    Can you really love government and then start crying when it stomps all over your balls?

    If you have an almost god-like capability to handle cognitive dissonance, then yes.

    For TEAM RED and TEAM BLUE the issue isn’t government per se but government run by the wrong sorts of people. They can’t make the connection between government power and perverse outcomes, because they think that if only the right people had the power then things would be different. It’s almost like they think there’s some kind of Nietzschean Governing

  12. Jeff Alworth says:

    Can you really love government and then start crying when it stomps all over your balls?

    Isn’t this where one of you righties makes a joke about your wife?

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