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Voting is Dead

From our inbox:

Esteemed Oregon Commentator,

Perhaps you have noticed that there are quite a few register to vote people out there that insist on treating students like they are children who constantly need to be reminded of their responsibilities. I’m guessing that you are as annoyed as much as I am with these officious people, and with that in mind I would like to mount a protest (Don’t worry – a protest utterly lacking in picket signs, slam poetry, and organization). My idea is that when people are asked if they want to register they write Frederich Nietzsche as the name of the applicant and then promptly walk away. This will waste their voter registration form, make it clear that their efforts are unwanted, and ultimately make them hesitant about asking students. Understand that I’m not against voting in the slightest, I am registered and certainly will be voting, but I loathe the people who seem to assume that I can’t handle my civic duty. I realize that this is a little late, but I only recently thought of it.

Sincerely, Nicholas “Ubermensch” Stachelrodt

In other news, everyone is butthurt because John Stossel had the cajones to suggest that some people are too stupid to vote.

  1. Vincent says:

    Michelle: 1
    “Stossel!”: 0

  2. Michelle Haley says:

    Oh, I know we’ve always had a voter drive on this campus, I’m just saying that the motivation to register 10k, the way it was announced, the reasoning behind it is “we don’t need OSA, and I guess we have to prove it.” Not that it’s good for students. I mean, sure it is good to encourage students to vote, and that’s a pleasant “side effect,” but I circumstances point to a different core motivation this year.

    And to Stossel! Says; I was the campaign manager for the current executive, I’ve very aware of what the Facebook page says.

  3. Stossel! says:

    Michelle, this is from the executive’s campaign facebook page:

    “ENGAGE you:

    In 1992, UO had the highest student turnout in a presidential election of any university or college in the nation. We want to do it again. By starting this summer and building coalitions with community and campus organizations, we want to launch the largest student voter registration drive in history. There are hundreds of student employees on campus who lack central representation, or even a forum to have their voices heard. They need an effective voice, and so we propose the creation of a special cabinet position in the ASUO called the Student Employees Advocate.”

  4. Timothy says:

    Vincent – Yeah, it was like 15 feet high or something.

  5. Vincent says:

    Back in the dark ages when I was a freshman Jay Breslow built the

  6. Timothy says:

    Michelle – No, the ASUO has always done lame voter drives. Back in the dark ages when I was a freshman Jay Breslow built the “World’s Largest Ballot Box” to entice students to vote, or something. I am not joking.

    And, dudes, I think some appropriate cynicism is missing here. Democracy is a sham, kids, your god is a lie. It doesn’t matter how many people vote, or if they’re uninformed or not – people, basically all people, don’t express meaningful preferences in the voting booth. Plus it’s difficult to actually aggregate the preferences that are expressed, and this problem is especially deep with plurality voting, yo.

    I’d suggest we all stop pretending that it really matters who we vote for anymore – Congress is going to do what’s in the interest of the lobbies that give them resources to stay elected, the President is going to spill out lazy plattitudes about “JARBS!” and “FAIR TRADE!” and “INSERT OTHER MORONIC TAKE ON CURRENT WORLD EVENTS HERE!” At the end of the day the only truth is that with every passing year we have less freedom and have more of our wealth taken at gun-point by a bunch of thugs who presume to be our betters.

    JESUS – You see what the world has come to, kids? I sound like Andy….man. John Stossel’s moustache owes me a drink.

  7. TedTheTiniestTurtle says:

    when did this moderation thing happen?
    are there spammers now?
    why must everything I love get blown up by internet spam

  8. TedTheTiniestTurtle says:

    John Stossels Moo-Stash should vote.
    we need a more pro 1970s gay porn agenda in washington.

  9. Michelle Haley says:

    As anyone who has taken a 100-level sociology or political science class knows, the ability to be an informed and voting citizen is generally a direct result of an individual’s access to resources in their community. I’d argue that anyone that’s made it to college has the resources to inform themselves of, not only, the registration deadlines, but also the issues and candidates. I’m sure voter drives are still needed in many parts of the US, but our campus? Probably not. I hate to say this, but I feel like this years voter drive was something ASUO was forced to do in response to changing our relationship with OSA, and really isn’t much about the voters at all.

  10. Sean says:

    Not having people registering people to vote is completely different that stopping people from voting.
    If people have enough initiative to exercise those goddamn inalienable rights, then great!
    But if they don’t have the responsibility to register their own lazy asses, then we shouldn’t be asking them to make decisions that affect the country, because those decisions are going to be affected by that irresponsibility.

    To those Register to Vote people…how would you feel if I started asking people if they were Registered to Carry and handed out guns to people? Is that not an inalienable right? And having no one out on the street asking, isn’t that ‘suppression of the right’?

  11. Vincent says:

    I’m so fed up with Ellen Degeneres engaging in voter suppression!

  12. CJ Ciaramella says:

    No, really. Don’t vote.

  13. Vincent says:

    The difference between literacy tests and suggesting that some people aren’t informed enough to cast a ballot is that one actively prevented people from voting and the other one is a stupid suggestion by John Stossel.

    Of course that hasn’t stopped people from whining about how Stossel is conspiring to rob people of their Constitutional rights and complaining that ABC is “participating in voter suppression”.

    If “being a dumbass” is still a “right”, as it were, then so is free speech, which still includes John Stossel saying stupid stuff on TV the last time I heard.

  14. Betz says:

    This whole idea that some people may not have the proper knowledge to vote just sounds like the ‘literacy’ tests that were devised to prevent minorities and african americans to votes.

    It is not a fundamental human right to vote; there are many places in the world where this is NOT true. However, if you are a citizen of the United States, then you have a right to vote in this country. I consider myself wholly commited to this fundamental assertion perscribed by the constitution.

    That being said, I can bitch and moan about the people that I deem unworthy to vote all I want, but I feel as though it would be morally and legally wrong to infringe this ‘inalienable’ right of theirs.

    But, if their political beliefs are ill-founded, feel free to point out their dumbass-ism … last time I checked, being a dumbass is still an ‘inalienable’ right in this country.

  15. Kai Davis says:

    “I loathe the people who seem to assume that I can

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