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No, But Seriously. Fuck Hipsters

I don’t like Adbusters. In fact, I hate it. It’s whole Naomi Klein-esque, anti-capitalism posturing is laughable. But Douglas Haddow should get a Pulitzer for his cover story, “Hipster: The Dead End of Western Civilization.” It includes such priceless exchanges with braindead hipsters as:

Standing outside an art-party next to a neat row of locked-up fixed-gear bikes, I come across a couple girls who exemplify hipster homogeneity. I ask one of the girls if her being at an art party and wearing fake eyeglasses, leggings and a flannel shirt makes her a hipster.

I’m not comfortable with that term,” she replies.

Her friend adds, with just a flicker of menace in her eyes, “Yeah, I don’t know, you shouldn’t use that word, it’s just…”


No… it’s just, well… if you don’t know why then you just shouldn’t even use it.”

The massive comment thread tends to reinforce the writer’s argument. For example:

Be that as it may, we’re the ones having the time of our fucking lives. No one pretends it’s a ‘counter-culture’ movement, it’s just some kids who like dressing up and know how to have fun. That’s probably why we’re uncomfortable with the ‘hipster’ label.

Maybe you’re uncomfortable with the term because you’re a vapid, contemptible twit.

P.S. For extra fun times, read the article again but replace every instance of the word “hipster” with “Jew.” It suddenly becomes Henry Ford’s unexpurgated autobiography!

  1. Vincent says:


    I’m non-admins can embed video in comments with WordPress.

  2. CJ Ciaramella says:

    Yeah, most of those parties were at your house, Katy!

  3. katy says:

    hey now CJ — I’ve seen you at parties with rows of locked-up fixed gear bikes, PBR in hand. though i suppose this disdainful blog post just shores up your irony cred.

  4. T says:

    Betz: “Even mocking hipsters has become so cliche that it has been sucked into the void of the sub-culture.”

    Yes! Mocking hipsters has become the new hipster pastime. It’s all part of that meta-irony bullshit that hipsters adore. And that’s why I despise the Stuff-White-People-Like guy.

  5. Betz says:

    There was a T-shirt I saw a while back that just said in block letters “All hipsters must die.” I was *this* close to actually getting it before I realized that this was actually a pseudo-sarcasticlironic jest.

    There’s just no winning with these people…. Even mocking hipsters has become so cliche that it has been sucked into the void of the sub-culture.

  6. Niedermeyer says:

    Pity the hipsters. They struggle to convince themselves of their unique-snowflake-ness, while Fisher-Price is already coming out with a “My First Hipster” playset, complete with plastic glasses, pabst can and bandanas. Was there ever anything so laden-down with pathos?

  7. orwellduk says:

    When are the UO porn based “competitative cheerleaders” going to make their debut? Please distribute 3-D glasses for the event and issue a special edition super-glossy Commentator for that historic occasion. Glad that wrestling program and Westmoreland housing are gone so we can finally make more room at new expanded footprint UO campus for Hollyweird types and Phil and Salazar’s barely legal “altitude training” chambers!

  8. Gsim says:

    Orwellduk – Yeah, I hate the Olsen twins too.

  9. orwellduk says:

    Their also called “actorvists”. Anyone on a fixed gear bike who also helps OSPIGGY should be deported immediately and have their passport and citizenship rescinded….or this country will continue sloching towards parishiltonization. Do me a favor-bash a ospigglet today! Feast on that hate speech lovers.

  10. Vincent says:

    Also, this.

  11. Vincent says:

    I saw that article a few weeks ago. Reading about those people made my skin crawl.


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