The OC Blog Back Issues Our Mission Contact Us Masthead
Sudsy Wants You to Join the Oregon Commentator

The Economy is Hurting Child Sales

Earlier this week Marcelino de Jesus Martinez proved to the world that he is not only a poor father but also one of the worst negotiators of all time. Martinez reportedly sold his fourteen year old daughter to eighteen year old Margarito de Jesus Galindo with the intent of the two marrying.

What is the going rate for a fourteen year old girl today you may ask? Well, Galindo paid $16k and “provided [Martinez] with 160 cases of beer, 100 cases of soda, 50 cases of Gatorade, two cases of wine, and six cases of meat.” I f you ask me Galindo really came out ahead in this deal. Hell, $16k would only get you a few hours with one of Eliot Spitzer’s girls and this guy is giving his daughter away forever. And as for the rest of the food and beverages I think he should have asked for much much more. If I were him I would have asked for at least 200 maybe 250 cases of beer. And I would have made it something good, like PBR.

  1. […] our friends at the Oregon Commenator, a Californian man sold his 14 year-old daughter to an 18 year-old for cash, beer, and meat: […]

  2. Ghost of Fark says:

    I am the ghost of green lit fark stories paaaaaast.

  3. Vincent says:

    Very impressive.

    Unfortunately, Spam does not count as meat.

  4. CJ Ciaramella says:

    Well, it depends on what type of meat you’re talking about, but let’s go with Spam.

    The current price of Spam is $2.75 (more than the average retail price for the same amount of ground beef, by the way). A Spam Variety 12 Pack goes for $30.

    Now, one of the escorts Spitzer was caught with went for $1,000 an hour, but some of the escorts at the Emperor’s Club went as high as $4,300 an hour. Let’s assume that a) you’re a big time player and spring for the finest of escorts and b) you, like Spitzer, like to get your money’s worth and spend two hours with said escort. That’s $8,600.

    Let’s see … that’s 287 variety packs of Spam or 3,127 tins of original Spam. The escort’s rate would be 1,563 cans of spam per hour.

  5. Vincent says:

    How many cases of meat would one of Eliot Spitzer’s girls go for?

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.