On My Imminent Apotheosis
Today’s ODE has an article about my upcoming appointment to the ASUO Senate, complete with sexy-time photo. According to the lede, I am a “high-profile conservative” on campus. Also, I am described as “a good guy” by Sen. Lidiana Soto (aw, thanks!), but some Senators did not appreciate my cover letter, which was apparently “flippant.”
There are several comments on the online story, my favorite of which simply says:
BLACK METAL FOR SENATE.
DETH TO NON-BELIEVERS.
CJ FOR PRESIDENT OF THE UNIVERSE.SIGNED 800
Speaking of which, If confirmed by Senate, I promise to represent my metalhead constituents to the best of my ability. Hail Satan, etc.
Usually I don’t do this, but I feel it incumbent upon myself to point out that Robert wrote the entire lede for that story. I don’t consider you “high profile.”
About that picture:
Can I say one thing to you? And I say this with an unblemished record of staunch heterosexuality…it’s fabulous.
Your comment against circus bears is sure to outrage animal rights advocates all over campus!
That comment was TOTALLY Anthony Green, a.k.a. The 800lb Gorilla. He writes in all caps all the time, and it was totally totally him. Just sayin’.
“Everyone’s entitled to their position as long as they have a serious constituency and take being on Senate seriously,” Scandalios said.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahasldfjkasl’fs’al.