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The Streets of Eugene Are Hot, Hot, Hot!

The Oregon Commentator is privy to the police feed from the EPD. This one seemed particularly worrisome. Stay safe out there.
Man Set on Fire During Assault
Case No. 09-17789
Eugene Police are looking for information regarding an incident early Saturday morning, in which a man was lit on fire by an unknown assailant.
At about 3:00 Saturday morning, an adult male reported that he was walking on the sidewalk near E. Broadway and High when he heard footsteps and was bumped from behind. As he turned around, there was the sound of fire quickly igniting and he was on fire. He said he stopped, dropped and rolled. After the fire was out, he walked to the Campus Inn, 390  E. Broadway, and called out for help from an employee. He was taken to a local hospital with what appear to be non-lifethreatening but painful burns on his hands and face.
  1. Danimal says:

    Um…. you guys know about Richard Pryor, right? Jesus, let me help….

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Pryor#The_freebasing_incident

  2. Vincent says:

    See above.

  3. Kevin Spacey says:

    Perhaps because face and hands are the only parts of one’s upper body upon which one does not habitually wear clothes, which might have burnt instead of his skin until he finished stopping, dropping, and rolling. Are you saying Eugene police detectives are so incompetent they couldn’t tell the difference?

  4. Richard Pryor says:

    So someone ran up to him and lit his hands and face on fire? A perfectly reasonable story.

  5. pmd says:

    Keyser. A man was lit on fire by a *criminal psycho* and all you can say is he was somehow deserving of it because he was a druggie. (Which isn’t even in the report, and probably isn’t even true). So unless you would like to be considered a “person of interest” in what is in fact a heinous crime, I would suggest keeping such vile statements to yourself!

    Right now you sound exactly like the kind of person who could of done it.

  6. Keyser Soze says:

    Stop smok’n CRACK and your face won’t torch up!

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