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David Coleman – “The Dating doctor”


Dating Doctor Dave Coleman appeared at the University on Tuesday

Last Tuesday, October 27th, the campus played host to David Coleman “The Dating Doctor,” who filled the EMU Ballroom to capacity for two, hour long, shows. A group of my friends, none of which are in fratorities, somehow heard of this event and invited me along. After pushing our way to the front of the crowd (you’d be surprised the little resistance people had, like it was a Dave Mathews Band concert or something) the group of friends I was with managed to make our way in, and snag some reasonably good seats. I have to say that we stuck out like sore thumbs, with our lack of rush T-shirts or bro-like demeanor, but we stayed and enjoyed playing audience to the obviously fratority catered event featuring “Americas Real-Life Hitch.”

Being a self described politically incorrect man, Mr. Coleman started off his show by being politically correct. He told his audience that his show is set up around analyzing the different aspects of dating and relationships by gender, and that his show was sexual preference neutral. Audience members needed to only follow along to the parts about women if they liked women, and men if they liked men. While being serious about acceptance, he managed to keep the room’s atmosphere light and lively, and quickly jumped into his presentation.
A lot of his show was based around the first stages of dating, actually meeting each other. That being said, there was definitely a reoccurring element in the show; pickup lines.

“Was your father a chicken farmer? Because you sure know how to raise cocks”
” It may look like a needle, but I can work it like a sewing machine”
(these were the first lines he really used, saying that these were some of the worst ones he had ever heard)
Others said through the curse of the night were pretty good such as; “That dress looks very becoming on you, if I were on you I’d be coming too.”
His pickup line challenge, where anyone could say the first part of a line and he would finish it, was only beat once by a sorority girl a few rows behind me. The line was a little lame and had something to do with Virginia. After the first half he said it could be several things, so she finished it and he stood there trying to figure out what she meant, until he concluded with “Oh! I see you’re a ho!”
At one point during the show he made a “come here” finger motion to a guy who stood up for some question or comment, and had the guy come to the front. Then he said, ” If I could make you come with one finger imagine what I could do with my whole body.”

Another portion of his show included things on physical interaction.
One interesting allusion he made through the course of the show was men’s hand placement to Switzerland. Guys should not let their hand’s wander, in fact think of the middle of her back as Switzerland. It’s the neutral country, so your safe in the middle of the back. If the night goes well and turns to romance you may go south. If the night doesn’t and the girl is looking more like a friend, move north to her upper back.

Other things covered in the show;
The 6 signs to look for in each sex to see if they are truly interested in you.
How to tell if you can still be friends with your ex.
The three eye contact method.
What men can do to be better in bed.

What he didn’t include was what women can do to be better in bed, which I think is a little BS… Dave Chappelle had a pretty good list.

I won’t include my comments on the surrounding audience but overall I’d have to say the show was pretty solid. A lot of the advice he gave was true, and he provided a lot of insight from the experience he has as a professional dating counselor. The humor may have been a little bit on the sophomoric side, but he pulled it off well and kept the audience involved throughout the entire gig. I don’t imagine many of our readers went to the “Dating Doctor,” or even heard of the event beforehand, but for once, a fratority event was actually fun.

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