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The Scariest Thing This Side Of The Steering Wheel

So we all know that Canada sometimes deals with municipal issues in an . . . interesting way. In my humble opinion this monstrosity takes the cake:


Today, West Vancouver officials will roll out a new way to keep drivers alert and slow them down: a little girl speed bump. A trompe-l’œil, the apparently 3D girl located near the École Pauline Johnson Elementary School is actually a 2D pavement painting . . .

In what sounds like a terrifying experience, the girl’s elongated form appears to rise from the ground as cars approach, reaching 3D realism at around 100 feet, and then returning to 2D distortion once cars pass that ideal viewing distance. Its designers created the image to give drivers who travel at the street’s recommended 18 miles per hour (30 km per hour) enough time to stop before hitting Pavement Patty–acknowledging the spectacle before they continue to safely roll over her.

This is SO CREEPY I can’t even imagine. Isn’t it more likely than not that after these traffic calming devices are implemented drivers are actually going to hit more little kids? Like the boy who cried wolf, “Pavement Patty” will lull drivers into a false sense of security, creating more accidents than already existed.

Thanks, Canada, for the innovation. Let us know how it works out.

  1. NOooooo says:


  2. Betz says:

    I think if you had a tarantula speed bump, more drivers would be inclined to haul ass right over it …

  3. Java says:

    Creepy would be a tarantula speed-bump that appeared to rise from the pavement. Lets give this a try and check out the statistics in a year…

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