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Big Balls issue OUT NOW.

Big Balls issue

Click the thumbnail above to read the issue.

You know what’s ballsy? Publishing a football-themed issue of a university publication the morning your school is set to play the biggest football game in its history, an issue that will only reach newsstands two days later. Ballsy verging on the idiotic; ballsy verging on the “That was actually an awful idea”; maybe even not so much “verging.” But ballsy nonetheless.

Just like Chip Kelly, the star of our newest issue — well, not entirely. His balls are the star. The entire issue attempts to harness the spirit of Chip Kelly’s balls — outrageous, reckless, creative, lunatic, assured, averse to punting. We’ve done our best to stick our neck out on this one. Rest assured that, with the exception of one onside kick late in proofing, we did not at any point use our feet to make this issue, even on fourth and long.

What you will find inside though:

  • Reminiscence on the academic career of Bill Hillar, the ex-UO instructor whose balls were both his making and his undoing.
  • The most disturbing headline We’ve ever read. Read the issue and see if you can tell which one I mean.
  • Someone ballsy enough to reject the idea of legalized cannabis in the pages of the Oregon Commentator.
  • An advice column written by Chip Kelly’s balls themselves. Incidentally, those balls may have crushed our regular advice columnist, Kellie Bramstone, in their gravitational field.
  • One contributor is ballsy enough to question Comcast even though we’re using Comcast internet service to upload our issue.
  • Julian Assange’s thoughts on teabagging.
  • Oh and our editorial. It’s a poem, motherfucker! Think that’s not ballsy? Poetry will drive you insane. Have you ever had the stones to publish a poem about the news? Is that even wise?

Editor’s note: This was written Monday morning after a whole night of being awake, thus adding to its hilarity.

  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Oregon Commentator and CJ Ciaramella, Lyzi Diamond. Lyzi Diamond said: Hey, bitches. The Big Balls Issue is now online: […]

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