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American Hero: Vikki Myers

When Vikki Myers decided to take a tiptoe through her twolips, little did she know that a cop was about to come down on her self-sex session. Myers, 44, was staying at the Red Roof Inn with her children, and showing utmost care for her young, snuck out to the family minivan to show her vag a little TLC. However the coppers saw fit not only rudely interrupt a most patriotic act but also slap her with a $165 fine and a minor weapons charge for failing to have the proper ID card for her 9mm handgun. Vikki says she had just moved to Illinois, where the “crime” occurred, by way of Texas, where driving with a loaded handgun is often encouraged as a safety precaution.
Many are calling Vikki Myers a gross old harlot who should be able to control her sexual urges, but, personally, this writer finds her to be an inspiration. Why should we let society tell us when and where to sex oneself? If we all decided to make it a priority in our lives the result could only be a more relaxed, happy, and focused nation. We could all learn a lesson from Vikki Myers; not only her from commitment to getting off, but also the importance of properly registering all firearms.

  1. AD '07 says:

    Registering firearms is a bad thing mmmk? They might be the only state to require an FOID, and the psychopaths running Chi-town are so good at gun-control it results as almost the most firearm murders in the country there. Plus their state is bankrupt.

  2. Gsim says:

    I’d hit it.

  3. Drew says:

    Did you create a clitoris tag just for this post? Because that is my new favorite replacing blowing stuff up and.things ossie hates

  4. Blazer Prophet says:

    Lock & load, baby, lock & load.

  5. Sophie, you’re the best.

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