I opened the Eugene Weekly this week to the letters section (as I often do for entertainment) and came across this gem:

HAND JOB IS BETTER

Another case for legalized prostitution in Eugene:

There is more dignity and public service in offering a $5 hand job than being dressed as a national monument and dancing on 7th Avenue to remind us to get our taxes done.

The fuck, people …

Jeff Albertson, Springfield

The art is in the indignation.

I hit the EW website to find the letter and found another hilarious one:

BIRDBRAIN TIMES

Two days ago, I was staring out a window, when a common jay caught my eye. It was painstakingly burying a large peanut in the leaves right outside. Pecking, digging, stacking leaves … just like a squirrel, and all for a peanut.

Maybe birds should be in charge. On a good day we’d get stork-like treatment, on a bad day, a talon thrill ride into the sunset. At least birdbrains would follow predictable, instinctive behavior.

While we humans are slugging it out with ourselves — our instinct to survive apparently lost; our unpredictability growing.

It’s high time to bring on the birdbrains. What have we got to loose? [sic] Everything.

Dan Dubach, Eugene

Legalizing prostitution and handing the city over to birds: clearly the best way to solve our problems.

This entry was posted on Sunday, April 17th, 2011 at 16:22 by Lyzi Diamond and is filed under Crazy, Eugene, Humor, Media, Sunday Best. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.