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State might not give Cliff Harris special treatment… Gasp!

Oregon Ducks cornerback Cliff Harris has apparently learned absolutely nothing from an 18-month suspension from driving, as evidenced by getting caught driving without a seat-belt, insurance, or a valid Oregon drivers license. While most people in this situation would be facing serious legal problems, one of our star athletes merely “could” lose his license for another 30 days.

Considering this is the 4th suspension in a 24 month period, can we just take away this retard’s license for a little longer than a month? I enjoyed the part where his family said they would contest the citations even though he was caught completely red handed. Coach Chip Kelley said that he would remain suspended from football play while they “gathered information”, a suspension which shouldn’t last much longer than when they need to field one of their star players. I realized that the majority of college football players are probably well rounded individuals, but the ones we tend to hear about are pampered racehorses who would only get suspended a few games for burning down city hall.

I realize that throwing a ball for a living is really really hard, but if you can’t balance that with your studies (without free breaks) and without breaking the law flagrantly (Jeremiah Masoli, anyone?) you shouldn’t remain on the team, even if you can run across a field really fast (Hey, LaMichael’s girlfriend!). Hell, I wish I could get a scholarship for playing Xbox. I could play Madden while not doing my homework, because my teachers totally understand bro. And, you know, maybe I accidentally commit a hate crime, but I was really sorry about it so it’s all good.

  1. Gsim says:

    Lulzer: But you’re still coming back for more! You just can’t get enough of salty OC cock and balls. Fuck yeah!

    It is good to have committed fans.

  2. Andrew S. says:

    AD ’07

    Its clear that you misunderstood me in every possible way. Those statistics are meaningless without any context about his personal situation.

    Regardless, as a football player here at the U of O, he is no doubt coddled and catered too as with many athlete-students, especially those from the big sports (football, basketball).

    His past has zero bearing on the present: there is a whole building dedicated to sport players, with free backpacks, laptops, and tuition.
    If that isn’t privileged, then I don’t know what is.

  3. Lulzer says:

    Wow, the Commentator is still just as poorly written as when I was in college. Astonishing.

  4. AD '07 says:

    Andrew S. – Over-privileged? – The zip-code of his high school offers the following data:

    Over 50% of residents are hispanic, 25% black.
    Median home value in 93706: $150,319 (less than half of the state median.)
    Median California home value: $384,200

    2004 Average Gross Income: $25,685 (again less than half of the state avg.)
    2004 Cali Average Gross Income: $58,600

    Poverty level 2009: 39.3% (more than double the state level)
    California poverty level 2009: 14.2%

    Yes, what a privileged background he comes from. It’s a pretty ignorant remark you made there, similar to saying he throws footballs, considering he’s a defensive player.

    I don’t mind offending sensibilities, but offending the truth is not what the OC is about.

  5. Andrew S. says:

    Holy shit, there are a ton of retarded comments on this, who knew that people would get so up in arms over some law-breaking, over-privileged, athlete-student who has already proven that he is a retard on multiple occasions.

    But lets attack the author for pointing that out for everybody. There is nothing unintelligent about this piece nor is it unprofessional. I swear I think some of you have just discovered OC and find that because it doesn’t fit in with you delicate sensibilities that it’s, “stupid and unprofessional”. Its called an opinion piece, deal with it.

    Where is he factually wrong? Attack his position, not him.

  6. Sam says:

    Its a sad day at the OC when this is the highest commented on article all year. I miss the old days where they actually reported on what was going on in Oregon with opinions that were well thought out…. Oh wait there are more Insane Clown Posse jokes? Ol’dirty is going to win this year.

  7. jeremy staffordshire says:

    I have to agree with the underlying message of this post. However, this is a HORRIBLY written article. Is this guy really affiliated with the OC? OC, you have to cut ties with this rube. The articles his funny when it’s not intended to be and horrendously unfunny when the author is trying to crack a joke.

  8. Kristie says:

    This article is very unprofessional and sad. I understand you are attempting to have a “sense of humor” but you can portray this “sense of humor” in a different way. What is funny about this article is that you have many errors and his position wrong. Maybe you’re not even sure who you are referring to. Seriously, a RETARD? The way you loosely through this word around is pitiful. Hey if that’s how you think of him, that’s fine. I don’t think he should be the one referred to as a RETARD based on the way this article is written. By the way, although many athletes get away with things they are not the only ones. I guess you haven’t been watching the news lately or the reading newspaper. Lately, everyone gets “3” chances or even more when they do a crime or should I say make traffic violations.

  9. NGA says:

    This kid should just admit that he was high during this incident. And I don’t mean Harris’ driving, I mean the decision to write and publish this piece. What has happened to the OC? The writers used to be so good at being INTELLIGENT ass holes.

  10. Cinnamon GillCrispies says:

    Actually, while perhaps the use of a term such as “retard” is not in keeping with the UO’s goal of fostering a campus community where people are not offended in proxy of others, I would like to point something out. It is perhaps an accurate label, as somebody who fails to learn a relatively simple lesson after three (3) incidents may in fact suffer from a form of mental retardation. I felt as though the author was not being disrespectful, merely factual.

  11. Spencer Madison says:

    My original draft said cornerback instead of quarterback, whoever edited it probably saw that cornerback isn’t recognized by spell check.

  12. Smokey says:

    You must all still be students. This article makes total sense, and while yes, the sarcasm is a bit strong, the guy is right. These “star” athletes get caught all the time and NEVER pay a penalty for what they do. Of course these guys are going to go out and do it all over again – they weren’t punished enough the first time (or 3) and know they can get away with it because they’re an athlete. While I want Cliff Harris on the field as often as possible, I also believe he (and others that break the rules / laws) should be punished just like the rest of us.

    That all being said, Huck the Fuskies this weekend and Go ducks.

  13. CJ says:

    Throwing a football isn’t that hard, but neither is grammar.

  14. Hubris says:

    Fact check? Spell check? Come on, OC.

  15. David Lewis says:

    Wow, give up on the idea of writing for a living you suck at it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  16. Ben says:

    Hey you may be right about Cliff being a retard but if you are going to publish a story about a well known college football player you should probably get his position right. He is a corner back, a defensive player. Although the names sounds similiar you pretty much got his position completely wrong!

  17. Matt says:

    WOW! Do you even know who Cliff Harris is? He’s a CORNERBACK! Not a QUARTERBACK. He doesn’t throw the ball for a living.

    Here are some of your quotes:
    -“Oregon Ducks quarterback Cliff Harris has apparently learned absolutely nothing ”
    -“I realize that throwing a ball for a living is really really hard”

    Also, if you’re going to be a complete jerk and use an outdated word like “retard” at least use an apostrophe when you say “can we just take away this retards license”

    You are awful

  18. Kevin says:

    This is just a pretty bad post both in content and humor. They always happen towards the beginning of the school year and then the authors are either banished to the ODE or shape up and fly right.

  19. G-Dawg says:


    Of course! It’s always such a pity to see a college publication article not written with the intention of winning a Pulitzer. But then again, these “journalists” are college students with a sense of humor, which apparently you don’t have. Why u so mad bro?

  20. Dustin says:

    This article is very unprofessional and full of sarcasm. Don’t you have something better to do than to hate on Cliff Harris and the Ducks?

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