In attempt to “educate” the campus community, the Emerald published the story Know Your Rights, a Q&A of sorts with officers from both the EPD and DPS in order to inform students that you shouldn’t lie to cops, and that DPS officers shockingly have little authority to push you around. The lesson here? Although they look similar, don’t get them mixed up, because you need not have any respect for rental cops:

“University students who have run-ins with campus and city police may not be able to differentiate the two based solely on their uniforms and professional demeanor. But the Department of Public Safety and Eugene police have different protocols for legally entering a house or using a Breathalyzer, and an ASUO attorney said students should know their rights when dealing with law enforcement officials.”

This stunning piece of reporting was accompanied by a splashy layout, and a snazzy game of “Which is EDP and Which is DPS”. Go figure, the ODE got the officers reversed, naming the EPD officer as DPS, and vice versa. Seems like the folks at the ODE should have known this information considering their own June 10th party, of which police were called after a beer bottle was thrown at Parker Howell’s head, as well as the attempted theft of a precious barbeque by a student in a Beast Ice-induced rage.

Here’s a few tips for the kids at the ODE:

1. If you’re going to do a real story on knowing your rights, let kids know what the hell they can get away with, what they can’t, and what they should fight in court. Have some damn information about what students should do if they feel like their rights have been violated by over-reaching authority, and don’t get all of this information from the departments themselves. And don’t let the fuzz get away with statements like, “Your party is not so important to us to violate state laws … we’re not driving around looking through windows,” pertaining to their right to enter your residence, when you know for a fact that we have a Party Patrol in Eugene, and that officers go out of their way to bust even legal parties.

2. If you are going to print such drivel, at least label the officers correctly. I sadly found the ASUO’s responsible partying pamphlet much more satisfying, and the clip art figures were appropriately labeled, while still amusing.

3. If you are having an end-of-the-year blowout, at least spring for better than Beast Ice — I would have been chuckin’ some bottles, too if I was treated so rudely by a host. Believe me, if you provide the micros, we can prevent any more instances of incredulous barbeque theft in the West Universtiy Neighborhood.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 15th, 2006 at 14:54 by Blaser and is filed under Booze, Campus, Ol' Dirty Emerald, Snark. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.