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Jingle Bell Shakra

A shameful and uncharacteristic shortage of internet has kept me from posting this in a timely fashion. It may an old column, it may be an old joke, it may already have been thoroughly pored over for meaning and picked clean for giggles, but here it is, as it should be: for posterity, dammit. (Where I suppose “posterity” means “as long as the Emerald maintains its archive”.) Merry Christmas, one and all.

Quote? Oh, go on then. Just a little one.

If Christmas trees were humans, we’d be burying them, not decorating them, ornamenting them and then displaying them prominently in our houses.

Yes. And if Christmas turkeys were humans, we’d be cannibals for eating them. Makes you think, doesn’t it? However, there is also this line to consider:

At this point, I might risk becoming a cliché of myself…[sic]

Not at this point, my friend. Not at this point exactly.

(Also: hi, everyone. I’m alive. But jetlagged. How’s it going?)

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