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Update on Max’s Tavern

Chase has added a comment to the previous post on the closure of Max’s Tavern and gave a detailed update on the whole situation, which I am sure will be appreciated by many thirsty individuals. More details after the jump.

Okay kiddies, here’s the poop straight from the horse’s ass (as it were)….
We’ve never done any major renovations of the plumbing in my tenure (since ’93). There were two separate drain systems under the floor. One for the restrooms, installed circa 1970 and tied to the primary building sewer which runs under Little’s. This is in working order, and aside from a few obstructions, was not the problem. What was the problem was an independent drainage system that had been installed under the bar some time in the early 1980’s. You’d probably need to call your eighth grade science teacher to understand what happens to iron pipe when years of beer and (especially) Soda pop run through them. For those of us who do not need a primer in chemistry, suffice it to say there wasn’t much left of that plumbing to be found.
What we did find was about six and a half feet of sludge once we opened the floor, which had finally given into the bog. Now when I say ‘sludge’, Imagine the term ‘quickmud’ (relative to ‘quicksand’) and almost seven feet deep!
The next question is obviously, “what about the rest of the building?”
Ever hear of Helical Pier Technology? (research that one)
We had to shore up and restabilize the load bearing wall between Max’s and Little’s. They sunk (8 or 12) piers sixteen or so feet down until they found solid earth, then releveled the foundation.
Meantime the swamp was cleared, leaving a crater, where once there was a fine watering hole.
In this process,everything not at least three feet off the floor was quickly and forcibly removed, lest the swamp eat the whole building before we could stabilize it.
and there we are…
The state of the art drainage we have now installed is pretty much overkill and would be the pride of any submarine commander. It is also constructed of materials that do not succumb to petty chemical taunts such as Dr. Pepper or Red Hook. This system is built for speed and volume, and will (hopefully) not reek anytime during my life.
As to the rest of the room: I don’t want to give you any secrets or false hope, but we’re working on something, well, nice. I’m certain that term and Max’s seem mutually exclusive, but while we’ve got the opportunity, we’re working off the dream sheets we’ve compiled the last ten or more years…you can research your own dirty little rag to figure out what I’m insinuating…
Say ‘hi’ to the Oh Man for me, and if you’re looking for the exclusive on this story, all the fotos and the facts, and perhaps a play by play preview before the rebirth…I’m sure we could negotiate something.
You little jackals always have been entertaining.
Write on!
the asshole formerly known as chase

  1. flb says:

    dudes (i have unilaterally declared this a neuter noun).

    the issue you seek is, if memory serves, and it probably doesn’t, green and has a line art drawing of the facade of max’s on it. believe the story was written by owen or fritz, but can’t be sure. the cover was green, and it was published, m’thinks, either 1993 or 1994, but before my tenure. happy hunting.


  2. Blog says:

    Do they have a liquor license yet?

  3. Danimal says:

    And while you’re in the office, Tyler, could you poke through the back issues of our “dirty little rag” and figure out what Chase is hinting at?

    Oh, and I think my favorite issue of “Finally Legal” might still be lost somewhere in that old couch. Haven’t seen it since 1999 and absence has made the font grow harder, if you will. Could you dig it out for me? As long as we’re on magazine business.

  4. Timothy says:

    Tyler, email me the alumns list, asshole. As long as we’re on magazine business. Also, finish the summer issue.

  5. Tyler says:

    Sheesh. The Summer Issue will be online by next week. We’re finishing it now, as I write these reassuring words.

  6. Bret says:

    Sorry to get on another topic, but is there ever going to be a Summer Issue before, well, fall?

  7. Danimal says:

    Never go there again? Wow, Blog, you really are convinced you won’t get out of Tokyo alive, huh?

  8. Blog says:

    Max’s will live? Fantastic. I’ll probably never go there again but that’s fantastic.

  9. Sho says:

    Sorry, my bad. I don’t know if I’ve met Chase, but I’ll change my post to give proper credit to the man.

  10. WWB says:

    Since when is Chase “a reader”? I have no idea if he picks up the magazine any longer, but by that I mean, Chase is Chase.

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