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As the World Turns

Well, as our comment threads smolder in a counter-intuitive post-election conflagration over the merits of gay marriage, the world outside Oregon continues to happen.

I awoke today to two interesting news items. Taken together they present a little race between demises I won’t be shedding many tears over. So let’s start the betting: Will Ashcroft quit before Arafat croaks?

  1. Olly says:

    One of those paragraphs is not like the others.

  2. peter says:

    Arafat – You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared
    richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth
    into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody,
    abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and
    then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.

    I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same
    species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at
    the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut.
    Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are
    a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you
    smell?

    Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting
    to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a
    nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able
    to access it more rapidly.

    Arafat – You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive
    its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to
    fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink
    shame of your ignoble blood. May you ckoke on the queasy, convulsing
    nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.

  3. WWB says:

    When Arafat left for Paris, PA leaders drew up a contingency plan in case (hope?) that he doesn’t return. Mahmoud Abbas — the ex-PM who seemed relatively promising until he quit in frustration — would be given effective control of the PA. This seems good.

    I would be greatly surprised if the Palestinians came around before the Cuban government. One is basically a death cult, the other are corrupt bureaucrats. Yet Abbas and the current PM, Qurei, are more likely to deal with reality than Castro’s brother would be to hold a frigging election.

  4. Danimal says:

    Agreed.

  5. Timothy says:

    All I can say with regard to Arafat: Fucking finally. Maybe Castro will die painfully too.

  6. Andy D says:

    I say the old man. Drudge says that he’s had internal organ failue and comatose? You should see the intrade stock! It jumped 70% in the past 2 days!

  7. Danimal says:

    President Bush was briefed that Arafat was dead this morning, but latest news indicates he’s only deeply comatose. He could hang on a while. I don’t know why a Luxembourg official would have inside info; he’s in a Paris hospital.

  8. Andy D says:

    didnt the PM of luxumberg say he did already?

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