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New Issue Online, Honest

The brand spanking new 32-page Back to the Booze! extravaganza is finally available for downloading from this mechanical Interweb site. To mark the occasion, we have decided to break the website. Any and all graphical features are down for retooling. We ask our readers to use their imaginations, like people had to do when looking at websites in the old days. (Our readers who still use Lynx will notice nothing.)

But the PDF is there in the usual place. Seriously, it is. It’s right over there. Click on it if you don’t believe me.

UPDATE: Some of the graphics seem to be back. Also, there are apparently riots in Portland that have brought the MAX trains to a halt. Can these events be unrelated? Normal service will be restored as soon as we get back from the bar.

UPDATED UPDATE: Not to tempt fate, but everything seems to be working again thanks to Tim and Sho.

  1. Timothy says:

    RE: The Website: You just hadn’t uploaded the correct graphics to the correct place. This shit happens, lord knows it happened to me. Try updating sober, it helps.

  2. Pete says:

    Hey, I liked the layout. Simplistic is good. Don’t add a lot of clutter. Leave that shit to FluX.

  3. Sho says:

    Great issue guys! Ah, it still says September 2004 on the blog page, but I can change that.

    Anyway, the layout is simple but clean and there’s a good variety of stories. The cover also looks pretty sharp.

    Oh, and if Pete is coming down to Eugene this weekend, maybe it’s about time that I make my way down there too.

  4. Melissa says:

    My my. What a phallic beer bottle.

    And we spelled Meghann Cuniff’s name wrong in my THK bit. I’m sorry Megs. Add it to our beer tab? That’s 2 for you.

  5. Andy D says:

    you need to fix the current issue table on the right hand side of the page too. 😉

    Do you guys have office hours for the commentator? I did a little recon of where the office was, but it was locked. So then I just took a bunch of old commentators and burned them in sacrifice to allah

  6. Olly says:

    Looks like you fixed it in less than ten minutes, too. Thanks, Tim.

  7. Timothy says:

    All right, fellas, the website is fixed.

  8. Timothy says:

    Looks pretty good, I’ll pop onto the website later and take a look at the code. I’m damn sure it’d .jpg though. Anywho, good issue guys, even if it is fucking November.

  9. Tyler says:

    Damn you, Tim.

    I think you might have mistaken JPG with GIF when sending us the instructions, but that’s just me. In any case, both me and Olly were not able to figure out a way to link the cover graphic to the website, though in the end we both figured we were fucking retards. Thus, You might be right — we are stupider than monkeys, or at least the Irish.

    Anyway, what did you think of the issue?

  10. Mene says:

    Hey, Andy D, I think the back of the front page is generally called “the second page.”

    I could be wrong though.

  11. Timothy says:

    I send you instructions a monkey could follow and you manage to fuck the thing up? Way to go guys. Keep on rockin’ the free world.

  12. Tyler says:

    Jesus, all it takes to get Pete to come out of the woodwork is to put up a new issue.

    That’s a good thing, by the way. We’ll keep that in mind. However, in the interim, Pete should come down to Eugene more often. It’s always a good time, though they closed down Legends (sad. So very sad.)

    As for the simplistic layout … I’ll improve that as soon as I get some help. I’m only one man here. I write 8,000 words of copy; I edit other people’s copy; I layout 32 pages of copy; I come up with 75 percent of the ideas … What do you want from me? AAAAAAARRRRRGHGHGHGHGH!??!!!@@@@&&&????

    Bitter? Nah. I’m just drunk.

  13. Pete says:

    Come again?

    Or, on second thought…

  14. Andy D says:

    Hey, did anyone read the ode today? You know what pisses me off? When that editorial writer girl on the back of the front page uses the caption “quashing dissent.” I just looked up quashing, and it basically means squashing with force. Having a non-coherent (analogy?) about the presidential election sure as hell is quashing anything except the journalistic integrity (lol!) of the emerald.

    Can we start a thread everyday where we bash the editorials of the ODE relentlessly so it has to walk home on a night colder than a which’s titty ravaged from a gangbang of logical tounge lashings and drunken slurs?

    YYYRRRAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

  15. Pete says:

    Fine, here’s another nugget. I don’t have anywhere to post this kind of stuff. Maybe one day I’ll get my own blog, or maybe a real job, but until then…

    From Bill Simmons’ ESPN PAGE 2 column:

    Someone asked me what was my favorite random thing about the 2004 Red Sox. At gunpoint, I think it has to be Foulke coming out of the Fenway bullpen to “Mother” by Danzig — such a random, inexplicable choice that I’ve been dying to find out how this happened. I’m not killing the song, believe me. It’s a classic. You just wouldn’t expect to hear it at a baseball game — it’s the kind of song that would be the theme for one of those HBO documentaries about siblings in a Wisconsin trailer park who were wrongly accused of killing their mother.

    So how did this happen? Was Foulke inspired by a “Beavis and Butthead” re-run? Did he attend high school with Danzig? Is he still coming to grips with his relationship with his Mom? Does the song get him fired up? Is it some sort of elaborate pratical joke? I’m brimming with questions here. Again … I’m not arguing. Fantastic song, Hall of Fame video, definitely gets you fired up. Just not something you would expect to hear at a baseball game. And nothing personifies this goofy 2004 Sox team quite like the closer running out to the musical stylings of Mr. Glen Danzig.

  16. Pete says:

    Okay, now Ive read it. Wow! Great issue. Sure, its November, but fuck it. I mean… step off it. What else are these kids going to read over Thanksgiving? (Insert Other Student Publication Here)?

    Diggin the design. Simple. Like an I-pod. But without the cheap headphones and Frankie Does Hollywood songs.

    Ive got more to say, but Ill say it on Friday (maybe Saturday) when I make my obligatory fall pilgrimage back to Eugene. Trail of Dead is playing at the Wow Hall on Sunday. Trail of Dead. Wow Hall. Sunday. Is at the on.

    See ya.

  17. Andy D says:

    A few demonstrators. PPD is always good at squashing dissent as long as the mayor lets them do thier jobs. I have a bunch of pics from the march 20, 03 protest…pretty entertaining!

  18. Pete says:

    “I want to see democracy in America. I want all the votes scrutinized. We need U.N. inspectors to look at these results,” said Cyrus Smith, 24.

    I just had to post that. Could be good spew. Possible theme: Spew and Sweet, Sweet Tears.

    Also…

    “We’re still here,” he added. “You may have won the White House, you may have won the House, you may have won the Senate, but we’re still here.”

    That one writes itself. I’m giving you gold here people.

    Great new issue, BTW. Haven’t read it yet, but that seems like a good note to end on.

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