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Family To Sue City Over Son’s Lack of Judgement

Here’s hoping this gets laughed out of court. Let’s think about this for a second, shall we? This kid decides to jump the gap between a couple of parking garages at a height of 80ft, and now the parents want the garage owners held responsible for the injuries suffered when he failed to make the distance? What’s worse is this quote from the story:

Orlando Tower LP, the private parking lot owner, refused to comment about their responsibility, according to the report.

“Refused to comment about their responsibility…” marinate on that for a mintute. Not “Refused to comment about the incident” or “Refused to comment about moronic teenager’s near accidental suicide.” The responsibility of the garage owners in this case is zero, zilch, at least morally speaking. Legally, well, you know, I’m pretty sure that the garage isn’t violating any laws by not expecting dumb as mud teenagers to try and leap from building to building. Whether or not the scum-sucker who took this case can persuade a jury full of south Florida soccer moms otherwise is a different question. Really, though, the owners should, at most, be forced to put up a sign that says “Warning: Leap between six-story buildings at your own risk. 80ft fall may be fatal or injurious.”

  1. Melissa says:

    I prefer “bundle of sticks”

  2. Timothy says:

    No, you’re a cigarette.

  3. Clint T. says:

    Hey, thats an original one!

  4. Anonymous says:

    Hi FAGS !!!!!!!!!

  5. Timothy says:

    Stan: Like I said above, it was over 180 degrees F. That’s what that post over at FLOG is about.

  6. Stan says:

    The McD’s coffee case is one of the more misunderstood/misquoted of the “Stupid Lawsuits” oft cited.

    The temperature they serve at was (IIRC) above one of the thresholds for n+1 degree burns. Scortchy!

  7. Mud says:

    I am not dumb! Stop creating unsafe environments for me! Gosh!

  8. The Pirate King says:

    This whole sordid scene might have been averted if they’d just put up a “Yo, Moron” label.

  9. Timothy says:

    Also, in a world with “coffee” and “all other goods” the Cobb-Douglas utility function would look something like this:

    U(C,X) where C is McD coffee and X is all other goods. The weighted cost of injury is like an increase in the cost of coffee (by weighted I mean P(Injury)*cost), so depending on the cross-price elasticity of demand between coffee and all other goods, you’ll see a substitution away from McD coffee to some degree.

    In short: I’d guess that the lady drinks less coffee from McDonald’s now. Duh. Hell, everyone can guess that from the data available, but I just wanted to have a chance to say “Cobb-Douglas” and “cross-price elasticity of demand” on the blog.

  10. Timothy says:

    Actually, FLOG posted on that incident last year, the coffee in question actually was 180+ degrees F and causedb3rd degree burns. 180, that’s some seriously hot coffee…especially when my water heater says not to set it above 140 and only goes as high as 160.

    Should she have just used the cup holder? Probably, but I’ve spilled plenty of coffee on myself over the years and none of it has ever caused more than minor skin irritation. I’ll give McD lady that one.

    But yes, there are eggregious examples of litigation which is why I say I hope this gets tossed out of court the way most bad litigation seems to. Last year’s blog fight changed my mind about this somewhat. I still say the attorney who agreed to take the case is a scum-sucking ambulance chaser, though.

  11. Clint T. says:

    There’s a website that gives yearly awards for things like this. I forget what its called, (I imagine someone will have the answer in about 4-5 posts) but it originated from the McDonalds coffee incident where some bimbo who set a cup of fresh McDonalds coffee between her legs sued our favorite fathut, McD’s, when she splashed it all over herself – probably as she cut someone off, without signaling, making an illegal turn into oncoming traffic, and shifting from 1st to 4th – giving her someodd-degree burns. Hey Tim, gimme a utility curve (or preference breakdown) for her coffee consumption pre- and post-McD’s mishap.

    Anyway, the website gives awards for frivolous lawsuits and stupid warning signs like that described in your post.

    Too bad the kid ain’t elible for a Darwin award – it sounds like he survived.

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