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“If the Suns’ players were diplomats, America would be in a dang good place right now”

Oh my

There is a growing poker/hooker/bribery scandal involving lobbyists, congressmen and maybe, probably — considering he just resigned for no apparent reason — Porter Goss. Now the Washington Post speculates that the nomination of Porter Goss’s replacement, Michael Hayden — a military man with a distinct reputation — may be a political strategy to shut down Donald Rumsfeld’s out-of-control spying habit.

It really seems like we’re entering some sort of political VH1 Best Spring Ever or something. But what could have done it? Why is everything, at least in my eyes, so gosh-darn great right now? It’s simple. The world has a new role model: The Phoenix Suns.

Uh….

If the Suns’ players were diplomats, America would be in a dang good place right now. Barbosa came off the bench in game six against the Lakers when Raja Bell was serving a one game suspension for a flagrant foul against Kobe Bryant (Bell watched that game on TV at an LA restaurant full of Lakers fans — gutsy). He was amazing, really hitting his stride, and the team is decidedly stronger since we called on him in a time of need. If America could suck it up and invite South and Central America to play as equal players in the world trade game, the whole world would be stronger.

[…]

The Suns, however, aren’t just winning games, they are playing the game. And we could all stand to take a lesson or two from them.

[…]

And speaking of Steve Nash, I think he should run for president in 2008. Not literally, but we really do need a Steve Nash type leader. Nash, who was just named MVP for the second year in a row, is the heart and soul of the Suns. Former Sun and MVP turned TNT sports analyst Charles Barkley said that Steve Nash makes everyone on the team better. It’s true. Nash not only scores in the double digits in most games, he leads the NBA in assists. He is smart, creative, humble, and speaks his mind to the press. His team and his fans respect him, and since he returned to the Suns in 2004, they have only improved. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we had a president like that? Right now we have a Kobe Bryant type in the Oval Office, and look at how that has turned out. His own team has lost faith in him, and the majority of the country believes he is guilty of a crime that has as of yet gone unproved.

What did Raja Bell’s clotheslining of Bryant in game five represent? John Kerry’s presidential run? Stephen Colbert’s roasting of Bush? The Iraqi insurgency? A pretzel? Ailee, I think I know who snatched your stash!

  1. Olly says:

    Alternate headline: “Globalization Means Not Being Able To Rebound For Shit.”

  2. niedermeyer says:

    “If the Suns

  3. Ian says:

    Didn

  4. Tyler says:

    Didn’t Feth write this, Ian?

  5. olly says:

    Globalization has been blamed for outsourcing, economic imperialism, homogenization, xenophobia and even illegal immigration. But at the same time, we can

  6. Timothy says:

    Is there a link to a story that goes along with this or what?

  7. Casey says:

    The clothesline represents the hard-line stance the UN takes against sexual predators. Oh… wait.

  8. Anthony says:

    Sadly I have to admit that Sir Charles Barkley is comparable to Madden for his commentary skills. And this comes from a man that holds Sir Charles up high for his absolute domination of the boards for so many years.

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