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Commentator Field Trip: Apocalypto

This Friday, the staff and fans of the Oregon Commentator are invited to a field trip to Mel Gibson’s new movie, Apocalypto. We will be attending the 10:25 pm showing at Cinemark 17 in Springfield, and we encourage anyone interested in enriching their worldview with the wisdom of Mel to attend. The event is strictly BYOF (Bring Your Own Flask), and judging from Mel’s recent work, you will definately need it. Remember, nothing puts ones personal struggles into perspective like the whacked-out visions of neurotic, alcoholic, bat-shit crazy Hollywood stars… and after all, Mel is the reason for the season.

  1. niedermeyer says:

    So, Apocalypto was really a surprisingly good movie. Seriously.

    It was every bit a Mel Gibson movie, which I typically don’t like all that much. Braveheart, for example, I thought sucked. Apocalypto was way better. Like all Gibson flicks, it was pretty unnecessarily gruesome… to the point that the gore transcended what was appropriate for even a movie about human sacrifice. As long as you numb your sense of humanity with whiskey though, the incessant splatter just kind of washes over you.

    Unsurprisingly, the themes seem to re-enforce the impression that Mel Gibson isn’t really a fan of urban civilization. I was expecting the movie to have a moral point that translated easily into modern society… but there isn’t. The “lessons” of the film seem to be: survive, oppose death worship, live traditionally in small villages in the forest, and carry band-aids for when that jaguar spends like 10 minutes chewing your face off.

    Maybe I need to watch it again, when I’m a little more… um, lucid.

  2. Michael G. says:

    Damnit, I’m in Sunnyvale! My flight back is landing about the time the movie starts.

  3. Leeper says:

    so how about those escorts?

  4. Blaser says:

    So I’m finally getting paid? It’s about time!

  5. Dallas says:

    We have the surplus…lets see what I what I can work out.

  6. Niedermeyer says:

    Sorry… all the money was spent on escorts.

  7. Doomscheissah says:


  8. Leeper says:

    Is this outing funded by the University of Oregon?

  9. Doomscheissah says:

    At least it’s better than heckling “Showgirls”.

  10. Niedermeyer says:

    How will I make it out of this failing civilization without Mel Gibsons allegorical adivice?

    I shudder to think.

  11. Timothy says:

    Dude, that’ll be better than when I got wasted and heckled “The Core”.

  12. Doomscheissah says:

    Maybe we all can get reciprocation on this by joining members of the College Republicans when they hit the .50 theatres for Casino Royale in the next couple of months.

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