Insurgent Reprints Magnum Opus: Stand By For More Wailing and Gnashing Of Teeth
The rumors are true. The Student Insurgent must have been feeling a little down for only printing 3 issues this year (incidentally, they get almost $5,000 a year more than us), and have decided to cheer themselves up by reprinting last years infamous “Aroused Jesus” issue. That’s right, the hand-drawn nudity that inspired months of hand-wringing and fist shaking by the likes of Bill Donahue, Bill O’Reilly, Dallas Brown, and Students Of Faith is back in all of its crisp, bright, newly-printed glory. I guess things were just getting too boring, and putting out a new issue was just too much work. Oh well, bring on the caps-lock evangelists, the blowhard pundits and the Christians-as-victims crowd… just, please, everybody read this first.
***UPDATE***
As Sean mentioned, Jethro Higgins has written a letter to the editor over at the ODE, which should be available here. Unfortunately, the ODE has a page and a header for it, but the piece itself is not yet online. Maybe someone’s scared of tripping Bill Donahue’s RSS filter, which scours the web hourly for content with the words “aroused” and “Jesus.” We’d be scared too.
Ok, for once and for all. everybody, it’s Donohue.
Not “Donahue”.
Also, he’s hilarious.
Scratch that, Donahue’s comment just made it through the censors.
Bill Donohue tried to leave a comment on the ODE’s website for Brother Higgins’ commentary, but it apparently the ODE doesn’t like fake Donohues.
I’ve summoned the dark forces of Bill Donohue, haven’t I? Crap.
Now you’ve done it Tim…
DRINK!
He must be Catholic.
“I have to read the issue. I do not look forward to the emotions reading this issue will bring to me, but I see it as my duty…”
Ooh, self-flagellation! How 13th-century.
“The Insurgent has made a mockery of all that I am, and all that I strive to become, and this time there is no question as to their motives.”
And comedy gold rains down upon us from the heavens, like manna.
Seriously, I can’t think of the last time the campus discourse featured a drama queen of this ludicrously entertaining magnitude. (Actually, come to think, I totally can, but let’s not go there.)
Hey man, those cartoons ain’t a joke. I was emotionally distraught when I found out Lola Bunny was with Bugs Bunny.
Yeah, I just read the Higgins manifesto and it is a knee-slapper. My favorite bits include:
and,
and who could forget,
Ah, great stuff, Jethro. Refreshing.
“Unfortunately, the ODE has a page and a header for it, but the piece itself is not yet online.”
Says you. I prefer to think the ODE has decided to start taking its editing responsibilities seriously, and the headline was all that survived.
(Either that or good ol’ Jethro sent the commentary in that way: “Studnt Insergent Still Insulting Chistians!!11!!1!1!! (N/T)”)
I highly doubt that this has anything to do with our retro issue… it’s a funny coincidence, though. It does remind me of a gentler, more innocent time when we once reprinted an issue… it was back in (oh shit, was it ’92 or ’93?) well, a long time ago anyway, and we published an issue in which we very bluntly called out MEChA for accusing IFC (PFC of the late paleolithic) members of racism for not funding them enough (sound familiar?). The issue was dumped wholesale (presumabely by MEChA members), and we reprinted the issue. Unlike the Insurgent, we had the class to throw out a slightly new “sanitized for your pleasure” cover, and a new editorial to commemorate the event. There’s a time and a way to get away with reprinting, but the Insurgent clearly just doesn’t care.
By the way, those issues are now relegated to our musty vaults, and our online archive doesn’t go back that far YET. Check out Fritz von Carp’s piece “This Land Is Our Land” that started all the trouble reprinted on page ten of the OC Almanac.
Like the OP said…nothing was going on and they didn’t want to put out a new issue. What better than the issue that caused the most controversy?
People (especially Brother Jethro) need to keep in mind that this publication is the one done by the likes of the crazy white haired old guy and his young protege who yell incoherent rants about the government and play trumpet in the Amphitheater.
Why the reprint? My theory: the Insurgent was jealous of the OC’s slick and cool retro issue, and they wanted a taste too. But when they slid on the decor of retro style, it was like that guy at the party who thinks he’s so cool and indie because he wears a cosby sweater.
If staff members of the Insurgent should ever find themselves on the defensive edge again from popular (and by popular, I mean by exposure…not that they’re worth a damn) pundits of the like of O’Reilly, Limbaugh, Hannity, etc….please, lets not defend them again. Choosing to not save their ass is not an instigation of harm.
I admit, they probably do (and, begrudgingly, SHOULD) have the journalistic right to publish whatever the hell they want, they should know by now that reprinting this issue is akin to sticking a fork in the electrical socket….MULTIPLE TIMES.
Our local religious fanatic (and former On the Rocks member) Brother Jethro Higgins has spoken up. I’m surprised he didn’t call for God to smite us all.