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Important Message for UO Student Ticket Holders

Yell “O!” Drink. Fornicate.

Our football team deserves our diehard and relentless support, but we need to do it in a way that is merciless and makes for an intrepid reflection for the University of Oregon.

– Bring your Duck ID card and ticket to get into the game, unless you want to be harrased by slump-busters of Crowd Management. Remember, when stubbing friends in, immediately walk out the gate once you have a stamp, lick the entire thing, and press firm and swiftly to the inside of your friends’ wrist.

– Respect all attendees, unless they are wearing enemy colors, in which case barking, insults about their mother and tasteful gestures representing what the Ducks will do to the Trojans on Rich Brooks Field are a few of many ways to show your appreciation for their presence. Families with children attend these games too, so set a good example by cursing loudly and drinking heavily.

– Enjoy the game without alcohol or other drugs, but have one hell of a grand time with them. If you see a disrespectful Trojan fan, please use a near by object to knock him upside the head. Fans behaving inappropriately may be removed from the stadium, lose future ticket privileges, be given a municipal citation, and/or face student conduct charges. But, if throwing a full Dr. Peppers into the visitors section helps the Ducks, go for it and you will be commended for taking one for the team and properly given due justice in the eyes of Puddles.

A message from the OC Editor In Chief.

Go Ducks.

  1. Daniel says:

    I couldn’t understand some parts of this article Important Message for UO Student Ticket Holders, but I guess I just need to check some more resources regarding this, because it sounds interesting.

  2. Anne Bancroft says:

    Hi…I Googled for ducks, but found your page about Important Message for UO Student Ticket Holders…and have to say thanks. nice read.

  3. Ossie says:

    Harumph Harumph Harumph Harumph

  4. CJ Ciaramella says:

    Our standards are so high we can’t even see other blogs from our lofty, intellectual vantage point. Let Joe Canzano eat cake.

  5. Timothy says:

    The standard are so high they don’t even know what’s going on.

  6. Meghann says:

    Good point, Ossie. I forgot how high the standards were at this blog.

  7. Ossie says:

    I was thinking about it Meghann, but in my opinion, it’s worthless banter. Why should anyone care about a half-ass piss ant of a sports writer getting told by coach’s ex? Maybe if I worked for People Magazine I would be more entitled to run it.

  8. Meghann says:

    You guys should put Canzano’s blog post about Colleen Bellotti out front. It’s just too good to miss!

  9. Timothy says:

    See also, pretending to be from hotel security and making fun of the Princeton Tory editor’s bowtie.

  10. Sho says:

    Pissing on potted plants in the hotel hallway is optional. However, putting drinks on your douchey roommate’s credit card is required and recommended.

  11. Timothy says:

    Ossie: The appropriate behavior for a CN conference is drinking heavily. Enjoy!

  12. niedermeyer says:

    Heh, at least the game will be on! And at least you won’t have to wake up at 6 am to watch Gametracker update.

  13. Ossie says:

    Hey Ted, get this shit. Next weekend I have to miss the #4 Sun Devils get their ass beatin by #5 Ducks because of the CN Conference. Shit! Hopefully I will at least have a chance to make it to a Tempe bar to point and yell at some stupid ASU fans.

    Go Ducks!

  14. niedermeyer says:

    Fucking A, GO DUCKS!

    I cannot express the relief I feel to be able to actually watch the ASU game next Saturday, instead of having to watch the stats update online. I don’t think my blood pressure could stand another games worth of dropped connections in the middle of key drives, or screaming at little animated players to catch little animated balls when Gametracker “recreates” the previous play. I need some real football now! It’s national championship time, baby!

  15. Lee says:

    Go ducks!

  16. Meghann says:

    Good post, Ossie.

    Beat the Trojans!

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