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Back to School

I was sitting in my “History of America in the 60’s” class and the professor posed a question that obviously blew a few fuses in the minds of nubile freshmen.

The question posed was: “You’re on your back porch, and you have train tracks that run across next to your land, but not on your property. You see a baby caught in the traintracks, and you hear the train coming. The train eventually comes and kills the baby.

Should there be a law that requires you to help that baby?”

Of course, the students in the class had a hard time balancing the moral responsibility of the person with the slippery slope of the law. Some kids were absolutely unwavering. One girl said, “If that person doesn’t help, that person should NOT be on the fucking streets of America.”

Still others felt it was the law’s duty to force people out of personal choice, “It should be common courtesy. But people aren’t stepping up in modern society, so maybe we should make it a law.”

I’m glad to see that, even when posed with a theorhetical question, students are still unable to grasp the concept of personal choice. Hilarious.

In other news, the campus’ Athiest Club (United Atheist Alliance? I don’t know what the hell they’re called) was out in force, standing with two drenched sandwich boards in the amphitheater. The absurdity of the club need not be covered here, so instead I’d like to make an announcement:

We are starting the University of Oregon Nilhist’s Club.

We won’t meet anywhere, and we won’t do anything.

Glad to be back.

  1. Dane says:

    Ian, last I checked we’re on the same team my friend!
    Never said it was my idea!

  2. Ian "babyskullcrusher" Summers says:

    Dane, you know as well as I that the Oregon Nihilist Club was my idea, but since I don’t believe in being mad at you, I’ll just laugh.

  3. CJ Ciaramella says:


  4. Sho says:

    I’m surprised you guys have gone this long without the obligatory Lebowski quote.

    Here, I’ll do it for you:

    “Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it’s an ethos.”

  5. Kevin Lewis says:

    What’s “absurd” about the Atheist’s Alliance? It would seem to me (because I have a functioning cerebrum, and I’m rational) that being anything OTHER than an atheist is what’s absurd.

  6. Vincent says:

    Would they be a Fucking Champs cover band that performed their music in the style of The Streets, or visa versa?

  7. CJ Ciaramella says:

    Where the Fucking Streets Have No Name.

    Also, The Fucking Streets is a pretty good band name.

  8. C.T. Behemoth says:

    Timothy, you are expressing far too much excitement for the club. Perhaps, if you didn’t care about it at all…you might find a membership application beneath your pillow? Not that the Nilhist club would bother to even put it there…

    On another note, I hear that the “fucking streets” are coming for Danimal’s johnson.

  9. Timothy Sea says:

    I want to Join your Nilhist club. I like the idea of not meeting or doing anything. Sounds right up my alley. No dues or fees I assume

  10. Danimal says:

    Where are these “fucking streets” and are they all they’re cracked up to be?

  11. Brittany says:

    What’s the point of an atheist organization? Do they get together and say, “So, in new business: There is no God. People still think there is.” “Aaaand, we’ll table the debate of whether faith can be debated until our next meeting.”

  12. Vincent says:

    One girl said,

  13. Lyzi says:

    Alliance of Happy Athiests!

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