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Just Another Blogpost on the Duke “Fuck List”

So, in case this blog is your one and only news source (as it should be,) some Duke graduate took too many of her roommate’s Adderall and made a PowerPoint presentation detailing the sexual performance of every guy she fucked in college. It’s understandable, really, who hasn’t created an intricate digital record of their conquests, including bar graphs, photos, and a “Memorable Moments” quotes section?

Karen F. Owen’s only real mistake was emailing to her three best friends, who, as any Lifetime movie can attest, will take every chance to humiliate you on a national scale. The list went fully viral after the blogs Jezebel and Deadspin posted the full presentation, and it’s been getting attention from The Today Show and the New York Times.

Owen has pussed out, saying she regrets the list “with all my heart. I would never intentionally hurt the people that are mentioned on it.” This writer, however, sees this document as a valuable teaching tool, not only for the men on the list, but for the sexually inept everywhere. Subject 7 gives a lesson in neediness when he texts “…?” exactly every 13 minutes, and Subject 3 shows the importance of praise with his post-blowie high fives.

The subjects themselves are not too pleased with Owen’s report, no lawsuits have been filed yet but Deadspin had to redact the names of the subjects and blur faces after getting too many angry emails and phone calls, some from the subject’s parents. But every filthy cloud has a silver lining, within 12 hours of posting the story Jezebel received emails from William Morris Endeavor talent agency and HarperCollins, who called Owen’s the “female equivalent of Tucker Max, and I admire his sense of self-empowerment!” Obviously she hasn’t read the Tucker Tries Buttsex story. A movie producer contacted Deadspin for Owen’s email address, explaining his interest in the story by mentioning his last successful movies, “Friday” and “You Got Served.”

This is not the first time in American collegiate history that a fuck list has been concocted. In 1977, two MIT students, Roxanne Ritchie and Susan Gilbert, published their own “Consumer Guide to MIT Men” in an MIT alternative weekly. The guide rated 36 men on their sexual prowess, but, even at the height of the sexual revolution, the girls were nearly kicked out of the school and over 200 students signed a protest petition against the article. Given that at the time MIT was probably overwhelming male-populated, the ladies’ table-turning exercise was probably doomed from the start.

Personally, my favorite part of this whole debacle is the media’s decision to name it “the fuck list.” So many other choices were available, “penis presentation,” “jizz journal,” “dick diary,” but even the old media was unafraid to stand up and call a spade a spade, and for that I salute. Now if only they could be this honest about Christine O’Donnell (yes, she is a witch.)

  1. Lyzi Diamond says:

    And honestly, isn’t this how Facebook started? A bunch of dudes trying to decide which chick in their chem class was hotter.

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