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Know Your Rights!

Last Saturday, I hosted a party for my 20th birthday at my parents empty house. My family had just moved out of it and all that remained were two couches. At the height of the party, there were about 50 people packed in this house, with my friend mixing on his turntables in the corner. It was about midnight; a distressed friend came up to me and informed me of a policeman’s presence at the front door.
I quickly locked the door, set a chair in front of it and told my friend to not let anyone out. I then ran out the back door and around my house, approaching the piggy. I said to him, “What’s up?”
“Is this your house? We had a noise complaint.”
“It is my parents house. I’ve just got a few friends over. We checked the noise level from the edge of the property and couldn’t hear it.”
“How old are you?”
“I am 20.”
“So you got some underage drinkin’ goin’ on in there?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“But that’s what’s going on. Now you’re going to let me inside so we can call all of their parents to make sure that they get safe rides home.”
“No, that’s not happening.”
“Do you want me to go down to the station and get some friends of mine and come back? Because I’ll do that.”
“If that’s your way of saying you wanna go get a fucking warrant, then go ahead and fucking do it. But you’re not coming in my house. Now get the fuck off of my property.”
“I don’t need a warrant. I’ve got reasonable cause.”
At this moment, an underage and very dear friend of mine, who will remain unnamed, came drunkenly marching up my wheel chair ramp. Not paying attention to more than his direct surroundings, he walked up to the cop until his badge was right in front of his face. “Oh daaammn,” he slurred.
“Oh damn is right,” said the cop smugly and my anonymous friend fled the scene immediately.
“I’m getting out of the cold and you’re not allowed in. That’s the end of it. Get off my fucking property,” I said and started to walk away.
Grabbing my arm, he oinked loudly: “No! You’re being detained!”
This REALLY pissed me off. This cop put his hands on me on my own property. He had no right to do this. And in case you are under-informed and unaware, he had no right to come into my house, either. Cops lie. They can do this. You, however, cannot lie to a cop. It is against the law. You don’t say shit!
“Get your fucking hands off of me, you piece of shit! I am not being detained, you have no right to! Now get the fuck out of here!”
This guy was persistent. He followed me to the back door, which had been locked, as well. After trying the knob, I turned to him and said, “Well, I guess we are both locked out.”
“I’m on a ten hour shift, buddy. I can wait here all night.”
“I don’t need to be back to school ‘til January, so I can wait too.” I sat down on my stoop.
“Oh so you’re a big, smart college boy! Think you know all your rights do ya? Well, you’ve got some lessons to learn.”
I could sense this pig’s desperation. I texted my brother, telling him to keep everybody inside. People had already busted out screens and dipped. He went around closing the windows and refusing the people’s desire to escape.
Then, one of my silly friends thought he’d try his luck with this piggy. He opened my back door with the intention of wooing the officer, but I stood up immediately, grabbed him and pulled him in with me. As the cop took a step toward my open door, I slammed it in his face and flipped the deadbolt. Within five minutes, the police cruiser had left. The following hour, they were patrolling my whole neighborhood. He never came back and neither did his friends. Nobody at my party was harassed by police that night.
Moral of the story: A cops job is to seek out the illegal. He will lie and use scare tactics. When I first refused his entry into my house, he didn’t even let me finish my sentence. He put his hand in front of my face and said some numbers into his radio. My first reaction, drunk and drastic, was “Oh shit! He’s calling more cops over here! He’s getting ready to arrest me!” However, thinking about it more, I realized his method. You have to make the decision in your mind that you are innocent until proven guilty. They want you to confess because it makes their job easier. MAKE THOSE FUCKING PIGGIES WORK FOR IT!
  1. zachary M says:

    right on man flex your rights you could even file a police misconduct form if you wanted! this our country not theirs

  2. Betz says:

    10 Rules For Dealing With Police

    Nice work on beating the cops (although I think gsim is right – swearing at a police officer is usually enough to get you detained, and in some instances it can be interpretted as assault, intimidation, or some other BS charge to get you arrested).

    The most important lessons to be learned from this story – as well as the video – is that police officers can lie to you. This blew my mind when I first heard it, as it seems screwy that Jon. Q. Citizen cannot lie back to the police.

  3. Gsim says:

    Proud of you man. You should read an excellent book: You and the Police by Boston T. Party

    A clear delineation of your rights during an encounter with an officer of the law. Good read for anyone between the ages of 15-30.

  4. Ellie Macallan says:

    Props for not being a dumbass as far as the law goes. However, presuming you actually cussed at the police-lucky you didn’t get hauled off (totally stupid they can do that).

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