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Snooki “Earns” $32,000 for Speaking, As Usual

Rutgers University recently shelled out $32,000 to have MTV reality star Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi speak at their commencement ceremony. This is $2,000 more than the school paid Nobel and Pulitzer-Prize winner Toni Morrison to speak at the same ceremony. Experts speculate that the increased free was due to the amount of alcohol necessary for Snooki to get performance-ready, but no one from the University has come forth to confirm this.

According to the Newark Star-Ledger, Snooks imparted the wisdom of her 24 years, advising students to “study hard, but party harder.”

We would like to shame Rutgers for wasting student fee money on complete bullshit, but since Amelie’s decision to chuck $82,280 into the OSPIRG sinkhole, we’d kind of be hypocrites.

Get it, girl.

  1. Please fill free to report that to noonegivesashit@hatersgonnahate.com and one of our non-existent customer service representatives will process your request using very poor engrish within a 24 year period (*disclaimer, this is approxiamteee, plez allow 666666 years sooner or later than date marked).

  2. FTB says:

    *Amelie

    Jeeze, Haskim.

  3. I’m sure we could talk Amalie into swindling another $32,000 out of LTD to get Snooki to talk at our commencement. Who needs 79x anyways?

  4. CJ says:

    Damn, the UO could have gotten two Snookis and a Kathy Griffin for the cost of OSPIRG. And they would actually show up on campus — something OSPIRG only does when it’s begging for money.

  5. JMB says:

    Spending money to have Snooki speak at commencement is the only thing I can think of that would be a bigger waste of students’ money than OSPIRG.

    Actually I take that back, paying for The Situation would be worse.

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