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Occupy This

So. Someone named Sam wants to hear about Occupy Eugene. I am assuming this is either the reputable Sam Dotters-Katz, or my brother Sam, who is of very ill-repute and interested in nothing more than collecting foreign wives. Either way, I suppose something will have to be said (that has already been said) about the Occupy Eugene/Portland/Oregon/Everywhere “movements.” I write “movement” in “quotes” because nothing has been moved as a result of these protests, except the Saturday and Tuesday Markets, which have been displaced here in Eugene by protestors who are trying to reform the United States government. Good luck hippies, you’ll need it!

I spoke to the dashing Sam Chapman, who is not only the leader of Students for Sustainable Drug Policy but also a member of the Occupy Eugene movement. He describes the downtown protest as “a beautiful clusterfuck,” an apt description of the motley crew squatting for… something…. in the streets of downtown. Occupy Eugene has, as of yet, no set demands, no set goals, and no plumbing, so you know its a real mess down there.

The original movement, Occupy Wall Street, put forth set of demands in late September, ranging from education reform to abolishing corporate sponsorship of presidential campaigns. They want every injustice to be righted, which is nice, but incredibly stupid. Society, not just American society, but every society has been unequal and unjust since… well… FOREVER. Wow, shit’s all kinds of fucked up. Surprise! This is nothing new. Life has been shit for a lot of Americans for decades. Now that some middle class assholes have lost their jobs, oh, ITS A FUCKING CRISIS! Now you give a shit! Doesn’t matter than millions of Americans have been eking out a living on next to nothing for years, doesn’t matter that their kids have been starving and killing each other since they were born, now that you’ve lost your model home and Volvo, SHIT NEEDS TO CHANGE.

Go stand in a park somewhere and make signs and talk to journalists, do you feel better? Do you feel empowered now? It reminds me of the “lobbying” trips I used to go on when I was on the Teen Advisory Board of Planned Parenthood of the Inland Northwest (currently cut to bare bones due to lack of funding, but I’m sure no one wants to occupy that.) We would get all riled up, learn our messaging techniques, outline our talking points down to the finest detail, and give the most impassioned speeches you’ve ever seen out of a fourteen-year-old. Our representatives would furrow their brows and nod, seeimg very concerned that thousands of people were suffering because making reproductive care available was just too uncomfortable for their Baby-Booming asses. But in the end, no one did shit. No one cared whose lives were changed, ruined, ended, because it just wasn’t worth the trouble. We, the constituents, just weren’t worth their time. I’m sorry, but things haven’t changed since I was fourteen. We, the people, are not worth our lawmakers time.

It’s shitty, but it’s true, and no amount of sign waving or petition signing is going to change that. The only thing that will is to have truly altruistic people in office, people who are willing to lose their jobs in order to do what is best. And that seems as likely as Michele Bachmann winning the GOP nomination. I hope.

Do I think these gatherings will have an impact on our government? No. Definitely not. Do I hope I’m wrong? Yeah. Fuck yeah.

  1. Ethan Bendau says:

    The “1%” just serves as a nameless, intangible symbol toward which the “99%” can fling the pure shit that comes out their mouths.

    “The one thing we all have in common is that We Are The 99% that will no longer tolerate the greed and corruption of the 1%.” – Part of the OWS mission statement

    Corruption is intolerable. Greed, however, is part of our constitutionally protected freedom.

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