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Sudsy Wants You to Join the Oregon Commentator

Commodify me, Baby.

Oh, God! The pain! The horror!

Doesn’t treating “people of color” as faceless statistics defeat the purpose of diversity?
The University was slightly less diverse in fall term 2004 than in 2003! A 12.9% decrease in minority and international student enrollment since 2002? How will we ever go on? How can we call ourselves a politically correct campus with…gasp!…an increase in white students?!

Perhaps we should blame Greg Vincent: Dr. Diversity isn’t doing his job. The stats don’t lie, doc. All the fluff and nonsense leaving your mouth in those anti-OC leadership seminars won’t sway those figures.

Perhaps we should blame the UK, China and Australia for being more interesting (and less hostile) than the USA. Stealing our diversity: the nerve!

Perhaps we should just go home and cry ourselves to sleep knowing that diversity doesn’t love us anymore. People of color, why hast thou forsaken UO?! We’ll bow to your accusations of American hegemony. We’ll vow not to cheat on you with any other self-identified international victims. We won’t even act like The Man! Wherever you go, whatever you do, we will be right here waiting for you…(sob!)

  1. panchopdx says:

    The diversity movement cannot be stopped, so why not just embrace it?

    As the Bobby Knight once said – “if you know you are going to be raped, you might as well lay back and enjoy it.”

    It’s time to advocate for minority status for new groups of disadvantaged peoples.

    Why not rednecks?

    You can make a great case that they are culturally disadvantaged by generations of rural poverty, inbreeding, poor grammar, bad hygiene and a stunted worldview.

    ‘Bout time we recognize the burdens they carry and include them in the diversity parade.

  2. Big M says:

    I think many of us would have paid big money to see that.

  3. Timothy says:


  4. Melissa says:

    Perputuators? The last time I perpututed, I was asked to leave the theatre.

  5. Timothy says:

    mmm…Cracker Barrel. They have some mighty tasty chicken and dumplings.

  6. Shakra-Kahn says:

    God I hate white people. Perputuators of the neo-colonialistic hegemonic patriarchy. And they suck at basketball.

  7. Melissa says:

    LCC has money?

  8. David Kirk says:

    Let’s not forget that Lane Community College shut was closed last Friday for a day of diversity meetings! What better way to say “I like minorities”– LCC purportedy dropped a heavy chunk of change to fly a diversity expert up from Berkeley. . .to give talks. . .to hold hands. . .to cry. Alas, it is Monday, and Oregon is still the cracker barrel it was last week. (sniff)

  9. Timothy says:

    You race traitor!

    Whoops, sorry, I was possessed by Al Sharpton there for a second.

  10. Andy D. says:

    My Dad’s side of the family is from South America, but I’m a raving conservative-libertairian…is that the wrong type of diversity?

  11. Big M says:

    Today, we learn a lesson. You make an assumption and make it wrong, you will make an ass out of yourself and no one else.


  12. Veldez says:

    Sounds like the diversity well is making some Oregonians thirsty and dry. Ha! …Yeah, that’s all I got.

  13. Anonymous says:

    uh, I think you misunderstood those signs there Big M

  14. Big M says:

    The same type of cocaine that puts up flyers everywhere trying to belittle anyone who becomes a member of the Commentator.

    Makes me wonder a bit about next year.

  15. Casey says:

    At least good cocaine is white. Eugene has it’s fair share of multicultural cocaine.

  16. Melissa says:

    This is just another example of a non-traditional student enriching our university in ways that us traditional students have trouble achieving…

    Like snorting the white fantastic and stalking OC staffers? Cocaine is white. That isn’t very diverse.

  17. Matt says:

    Off topic but important nonetheless:

    I just saw a flyer from the Non-Traditional Student Union announcing the NTSU students of the month. The kicker? Our old friend Mason Quiroz made the list for April. They even spelled his name wrong (Quiross). Who ever made that mistake better watch their back.
    This is just another example of a non-traditional student enriching our university in ways that us traditional students have trouble achieving…

  18. Melissa says:

    Hold on to not-White,
    Hold on to Diversity!

  19. Richard Marx says:

    I think that diversity is neat, but what people overlook is that this is the University OF OREGON. Oregon doesn’t have a very large minority population, hence the University which bears it’s name doesn’t have a very large minority population. All I know is that every time I look into the eyes of a minority on campus I’m helplessly aware that the someone I’ve been searching for is right there…

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