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Hack Attack!

Hack Attack ’05 is now available for your perusal. Enjoy!

  1. Timothy says:

    Hey, I’m not in charge any more. I’m just an old geezer who happens to like the comic.

  2. Clint says:

    Imitation really is the best form of flattery.
    Although I won’t deny Tyler being “write,” or my ignorance – I will say my spelling is generally on par, and that comic has appeared in the last 3 issues of the OC, indicating you’re going to try to make that a trend.

    With that said, Tim, my only real problem with the publication is that pile of shit comic that you keep stuffing into every issue. I wasn’t specifically flaming anyone since the “author/artist” of the comic had the sense to leave his name off the piece of trash. I know you’re desperate for some filler, really desperate since you’re requesting pieces from “illiterate trolls” on your blog, but for that filler I’d recommend going back to the “now hiring” pages you stick in there. Those are half-way amusing with minimal effort required.

    ..and yea Tyler, the Spew section is a few steps behind.. you fucking dolt.. somehow reading, “I know you don’t have a damn about Social Security. I know now that I’ve mentioned Social Security you’re probably not going to finish reading this article.” doesn’t quite stack up to, “It doesn’t work that way in real life, but that doesn’t matter because in this class I am God.” I won’t even mention the responses to those two pieces, because one is head-and-shoulders above the other.

  3. Casey says:

    mea culpa

  4. Iann says:

    Damn, I didn’t see Olly’s post. It sucked.


  5. Iann says:


    There was a piece about how the Commentator sucks. Didn’t you read Sara Brickner’s article?


  6. Olly says:

    Casey, I agree: but, in fairness, we already did. This year the OC piece comes courtesy of the Voice’s Sara Brickner.

    We are always willing to listen to the concerns and critiques of our readership, unless anyone has anything less than adulatory to say about anything I have ever written, in which case they can bite me.

  7. Casey says:

    Well, considering that this comment section regards a issue that does nothing but talk shit about other publications on campus, I think it may be fair to use this comment section to talk about problems with The Commentator. Maybe next “Hack Attack” you could add an article about parts of The Commentator that suck.

  8. Clint says:

    Tylor, you is write. I prmise i will stop posting ignorint, poorly spelled comments abuot a comic that has appeared only a feww times.

    P.S. I suck.

  9. Tyler says:

    The Spew section is a few steps behind these days? Are you fucking retarded, Clint?

    And if you have a problem with the publication, why do you keep reading it? I mean, I keep reading the Insurgent, but I don’t send them letters about how the shit they printed in ’98 was, like, so much more fucking insane than the stuff they print now.

    Tim is right: At a certain point you stop adding anything to the discussion section of this blog, and at that point you become a troll.

    Hey, but we’re willing to take submissions. Write something for the publication. Prove you can write humor. I’ ve already proven it, Clint, so suck it.

  10. Ben says:


  11. Timothy says:


    Can’t you do any better? Deb Frisch did better when she was flaming on Verdon’s blog. I mean, really, the asshats who made sport of throwing food at Cross Country runners when I was in high school did better than the above, I feel as if you’re not taking your trolling seriously enough.

    More effort, less being a mongoloid. Or maybe you can start a magazine, bitch.

  12. Clint says:

    I love you Tyler.

    ..and the comic still sucks balls. I stand behind my original statement and in fact.. I’m not really surprised some of you idiots think its funny, based on the fact that most of the articles you guys are writing these days suck from a humerous standpoint anyways. Your attempts at humor are generally in vain these days.

    At first I was going to attribute that to the fact that you’re writing more “serious” pieces than “comedy” pieces.. but when I attended there the serious pieces contained such a sarcastic wit that is thoroughly lacking in today’s OC. Even your Spew section is a few steps behind. Go back and read the roots you bitches, maybe you can get an inkling for comedy that way.

    Go take that comic into any bar on campus, and try to find someone that’s going to laugh about it. Hell, I’ll be flying back into Oregon sometime next month and I’d be willing to give 2 to 1 odds that if I take you to any bar of my choosing (we’ll stay out of Springtuckey) you won’t get anyone to laugh at that comic. Take me up on the offer if you really think otherwise, bitches.

    P.S. ..and don’t worry, I’ll just get you drunk with the money I win from that bet anyway.

  13. Tyler says:

    Hey Clint … Fuck you!

  14. Clint says:

    Yea, it must be my sense of humor that’s lacking. I wholeheartedly agree with that. My sense of humor must have someone dying to scratch it apparently.

    Why just yesterday when listening to a 20-20 T.V. preview, “George Lopez made millions laugh with his hilarious brand of comedy, but what those millions never knew was how close to death George Lopez really was.”

    Clint: “I’ll bet it wasn’t as close as John Ritter.”

    Definitely not on par with a “math rabbit” whose “going to rehab.” Or “donkey jerky.”

    Yea, that confirms it.. someone’s sucking someone else off to get his comics in the paper.

  15. Timothy says:


    Not my fault Clint has no sense of humor.

  16. Melissa says:

    Seriously, read his past 3-4 comics, and take an in house vote.. “Does anyone find anything even remotely funny about these?”

    Math Rabbit is freakin’ funny. All in agreement, type aye!

  17. Anonymous says:

    Where does one pick uo hard copies of issues? Seems like the boxes on campus have the same old ones in them.

  18. Timothy says:

    John Mackwood, his column was called Mackworld, and it was written “with the help of Torch editorial staff”.

  19. Tyler says:

    His name, I believe, is Mackwood, and he still writes for the Torch. That is, unless LCC has an overabundance of mentally challenged writers clamoring for columnist spots.

    And, lest we forget, the Emerald had Pat Payne …

  20. Casey says:

    The “Ninja’s killed my family” picture in Spew is priceless. A triumph of layout. In regards to the paper at Lane, does anyone remember the semi-retared guy that use to write poems for The Torch while sitting at the bus station, or something like that? Nothing I read in all of the UO publications came even close to the hilarity of those pieces. Oh yeah, those comics are horrible.

  21. Timothy says:

    I’ve only gotten one this year.

  22. Tyler says:

    There are, I believe, two issues we haven’t mailed off.

  23. Timothy says:

    I’ll read it when I get a chance, buddy. My only complaint: why aren’t you mailing us old fogeys issues? I’d like issues, dammit!

  24. Clint says:

    All of your continuations say, “Jump to Page 22.” Which would be fine, if page 22 wasn’t made up entirely of your Spew section. While I generally agree this is the strongest part of your magazine, it might be better to direct the readers to page 20 to finish the stories.

    In addition your piece on Bruce Miller looks to be missing a paragraph.. or something. It goes from page 7, “…she was upset over the incident. Bruce says she (Continued on [20]) … the students.”

    Finally.. drop the comics. They’re not funny. They’re not cutting-edge. This has been the 3rd or 4th such lame ass attempt at .. well.. I really don’t know what it is an attempt at. The current issue doesn’t cite the “artist,” and to be honest.. if it was my work I wouldn’t put my name on it either. It reminds me of someone trying their hardest at capturing a Red Meat type of comic, but failing miserably. Is someone in the editorial department best friends with the “artist” or something? Family member? Or does he just buy all the drinks for the privilege of running that P.O.S. on the OC? I would require a bare minimum of 3 nights a week of drinking on that guy to run that crap. Seriously, read his past 3-4 comics, and take an in house vote.. “Does anyone find anything even remotely funny about these?”

  25. Tyler says:

    Dammit, I know there are two n’s in your damn name, Meghann. Goddammit, I hate it when I do that. Correction noted. Still, I think this issue was copy edited rather well (considering the number of copy editors we have), especially if you don’t focus on the stuff people wrote in the document itself.

  26. Timothy says:

    Further evidence that there should be only one spelling of every name. And that Tyler should be arbiter.

  27. Meghann says:

    It’s a good issue, if you ignore the blatant typos.

    In the ODE article the last graph has a typo, missing the word for in ‘forgive the for that’ And you spelled my name wrong. There are two n’s.

    Count em.


  28. Michael G. says:

    Ack! A word disappeared! It shows how the removal of a single word can take away some meaning from a submission:

    Originally, I wrote: “She tackles the tough job of reviewing new releases such as the The Princess Bride…”

    The word “new” disappeared somewhere on the way to print… and took the irony with it.

    (Hint: The Princess Bride was released some 20 years ago.)

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