The OC Blog Back Issues Our Mission Contact Us Masthead
Sudsy Wants You to Join the Oregon Commentator

M. Dennis Moore, Back Again!

Remember our good friend, Mr. M. Dennis Moore? Well he’s back, and this time he has three statements “in favor” of Measure 43 in the 2006 Oregon Voters’ Pamphlet. Are they crude? Well, yeah:

Every act of masturbation kills up to 500 million unborn lives. Every sperm is sacred! Just like abortion, masturbation murders soulless cells. There should be parental notification prior to masturbation.

Are they a juvenile abuse of the voters guide? Probably:

Behold! Electoral theology prepares the way for a state god! We’ve got the beaver for a state animal. Wouldn’t it be cool to elect our very own Oregon state god?

But are they hilarious in a crude, juvenile way? Hell yes:

The Bible says that children who fail to honor their parents should be stoned to death (Exodus 21:17). Implementing biblical law as Oregon public policy could effectively eliminate teenage abortion, appendectomy, shaving, and sperm-murder.

His emphasis, not mine. Anyway, consider this another insightful abortion debate open thread!

  1. Andrew says:

    I was reading through the voters guide and started crying tears of laughter when I came across M. Dennis Moore’s hilarious argument in favor of Measure 43. He is a very funny man and helps make this world a little bit more cheerful. It’s his money and is a creative and innocuous way of expressing his opinion. Cheers to him.

  2. Niedermeyer says:

    I can’t wait to see how they enforce parental notification of masturbation….

  3. Jan says:

    I’m with Tim on this one. I never had to cross the street to avoid “M. Dennis Moore.” Also, it stands to reason that he owns a shower.

  4. Timothy says:

    Actually, I think he’s the exact opposite of Frog: He’s spending his own money to provide mildly entertaining commentary in a the voter’s pamphlet as opposed to begging for change to drink beer/get dope.

  5. Doomscheissah says:

    He’s wasting $3000 on this. He’s like Frog, but less funny and more stupid.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.