A few months back the Emerald ran a letter to the editor from faculty member Mohammed Jemmali. His letter was about the Anti-Israel protest that occurred at the EMU(and its counterprotest).

At the time Editor-in-Chief CJ Ciaramella and our Publisher Guy wrote these two responses to his Free Speech letter. Jemmali responded in the comments section to the posts. 

It got a little out of hand, essays were written, names were called, Vincent battled it out with Jemmali. It was pretty boring actually. 

But Jemmali’s back and this time he’s tackling an even better issue: ABORTIONS! Yeah. Lets see what he had to say with some of his endearing quotes:

Like Obama and millions of Christians, one can be pro-life at home and pro-choice outside his or her family.

If you’re not pro-choice, then you likely don’t believe in the separation of state and church (or the Constitution), and you like to impose your beliefs on others with disregard to the difficult experiences (such as rape) and emotional pain that some women and families go through when considering an abortion.

I love the contradiction in terms here. Isn’t that awesome. Obama is great because he’s pro-life at home but not in society. At the same time though, Jemmali is saying that Obama likes putting women through emotional pain and that he likes to impose his beliefs on others, that masochistic bastard. How dare he!

When confronted with a dilemma, I like to refer to logic and science for an answer.

Ha!

George W. Bush is one of those pro-lifers. Yet, no U.S. governor has ordered more death sentences (he’s also the only one who never granted a single pardon), and no U.S. president has waged more wars (he waged two). I consider the Americans who voted for him based on his religious beliefs to be the biggest hypocrites of American society.

Wait…

So, Obama’s cool even though he’s pro-life? But Bush isn’t cool because he is pro-life? What?

I’m glad that you could compare getting an abortion to pardoning people from getting the needle and starting wars. 

It’s wonderful that this paragraph gets a jab in at Bush and calls Americans hypocrites for voting for someone they agree with. What happened to that whole abortion issue? 

Oh wait, here it is:

In his speeches, Obama always tries to bring people together by finding common ground. Many people criticize him for his speaking abilities and positive messages. Are they suggesting that Bush, a very divisive and mediocre speaker, is better? Bush spoke at a Notre Dame commencement ceremony, but didn’t get nearly as criticized as Obama. Yet, in front of a tough crowd, Obama was able to get a few standing ovations during his speech, including in response to abortion, calling for measures to reduce unintended pregnancies as a common ground, and citing solutions such as “making adoption more available, providing care and support for women who do carry their child to term … and (making) sure that all of our health care policies are grounded in clear ethics and sound science, as well as respect for the equality of women.”

I swear it’s in there, it’s the fourth sentence in, you know, after the Obama is better because people clapped for him at Notre Dame part. This reminds of something…oh wait, I remember now. It’s Diego Hernandez. 

This letter is almost exactly like the MLK Day editorial that Hernandez sent in this year. Start off with a salient point, then you confuse readers by spinning off in completely random directions for the rest of the article and then in the last paragraph provide a semi-solution that doesn’t really work. 

Oh Jemmali, you sly dog. You almost had me there. I thought you were your own voice but I now realize that you’ve just been training with Hernandez this whole time. I’m a little disappointed, I was hoping that you’d bring a new brand of crazy to the good ol’ UO but you’re just more of the same.

Yesterday was the first ever (to my knowledge) inter-campus publication dodgeball tournament between the Oregon Daily Emerald, the Commentator, KWVA and the Comic Press, and you know who won? You’re damn right: The Oregon Commentator!

Held in the rec center, the round robin tournament was a spectacle of sport and trash-talking. (Okay, so most of the trash-talking was done by the OC.) Our first match was against the ODE. Surly, in varying states of sobriety (or a lack thereof) and clad in our sudsy tank-tops, we quickly dispatched the ‘Ol Dirty with gusto.

CJ Ciaramella, Drew "you could lick me and get drunk" Cattermole and Matt Tham survey the competition

The Comic Press beat KWVA in the next round, and the stage was set for a clash of titans. After I gave the team an inspiring pep talk, we set out to work. It was a nailbiter of a match. In the end, it came down to two people: OC Managing Editor Matt Tham and a really sweaty, angry-looking guy from the Comic Press. (Seriously, he looked like was going to have a temper tantrum.) But Tham prevailed over the sweaty man! Commentator wins! Holy cow, Commentator wins!

The OC team enjoys some delicious tobacco after stomping the competition.

Our only loss of the day came at the hands of KWVA, which had a guy on its team who, by the looks of it, must be pitching some AAA baseball in his free time. In any case, all the teams who lost to us are now our slaves in Valhalla.

Dodgeball … blog contests … ain’t no thing.

P.S. Where were you, Kai Davis? I didn’t see you on the field of battle. Your honor is in question, sir!

Look what popped into the Commentator inbox today:

Were coming back this saturday!! Another concert in support of OSPIRG…11AM…same place as before…This is us calling out all the big talking students behind their computer screens, including ring leader CJ Ciaramella(that started the whole online blog battle by saying we were “Eugene’s crappiest metal band), all the people that said our fans were fat single mothers, anyone that was involved in the whole battle we went through last time we did this, anyone that made comments on my orange shorts, and my white pasty skin complexion?, that said we were eugene’s crappiest metal band and then back-peddled and said we were still better than 95% of the bands in Eugene, all the people that threatened us behind their computer screens, its on, lets battle global warming!!!

Just keep in mind, we never threatened anyone, we are just a happy heavy metal band, that has a severe dislike for uneducated public opinions, why don’t you come out and see for yourself?

The Athiarchists
[email protected]

Oh noes, we’ve been “called out!” Not only that, but we’ve been called out so much that “it’s on.” I’m not sure what this means, though. Pistol duel at ten paces? Scowly face contest? Furthermore, I’m not sure how calling The Athiarchists crappy is “threatening,” and I’m pretty sure I was in front of my computer screen. Oh, but I digress. My reply letter to The Athiarchists is after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

About a month ago, Eric Holder, the Attorney General of the United States raised some eyebrows (and heckles) when he said that America is a “nation of cowards” when it comes to issues of race. The phrase “national conversation on race” has been repeated ad nauseam since Barack Obama delivered what many hailed as a “historic” speech in the wake of the controversy surrounding his then-pastor, the bilious race huckster, Jeramiah Wright.

Apparently they didn’t get the message in Portland. The Oregonian is reporting that an 11-year old boy, Dru Lechert-Kelly, was banned from performing a skit in which he was to wear a mask of President Obama and sing a song. It seems that “some of the parents” in the audience were indignant at the sight of a white boy wearing a mask of the President that he bought at a costume shop. The principal of the school said that the skit was “inappropriate and potentially offensive”.

One is reminded of the “offense” taken by certain members of the ASUO Senate when Commentator Editor-in-Chief CJ Ciaramella recited the President’s inaugural address during his Senate run. I think Dru Lechert-Kelly’s parents have it about right:

“I understand the history of black face and how African Americans were caricatured by it,” Lechert said. “However, we now have a popular biracial president who is admired by white and nonwhite people. At what point will it become OK for an 11-year-old admirer to dress up as the president without fear of offending someone?”

Both Don Surber and the Oregonian point out that Obama himself wore just such a mask during an appearance on Saturday Night Live. There’s a picture of Obama holding said mask toward the bottom of Surbur’s post.

Maybe Holder was right about all that “nation of cowards” stuff. Only I think the “cowards” are the very people who fancy themselves the most “progressive” on racial issues.

So much for the “post-racial President”, then.

(via Instapundit)

—-

[Update 03/17]

Blue Oregon has a related post about some high schoolers being banned from putting on a performance of Steve Martin’s play Picasso at the Lapin Agile because of outrage over profanity and sexual references. When they were disallowed from performing the play at the High School, the Eastern Oregon University College Democrats stepped in to pay for the students to put on the play at the University campus. Then Steve Martin himself offered to fund the whole thing.

All the manufactured “outrage” and feigned “offense” on both sides of the ideological spectrum is getting really old. Unfortunately, it works.

[Update 3/18]

Via Protein Wisdom, the greivance train rolls on. Thankfully, I’m fairly sure that any effort to re-brand St. Patrick’s Day (because celebrating saints is like… exclusionary, and stuff…) as “Shamrock Day” is destined for utter failure.

I’m issuing this as an editorial. I’ve talked with Guy, the publisher, and he is in agreement with it. If any of the staffers disagree, that’s fine. You’re welcome to write your own opinion and post it on the blog. Without further ado:

It has come to the Oregon Commentator’s attention, as it probably has to most of the campus, that the Oregon Daily Emerald is on strike.

In a front-page editorial and separate broadsheet issued this morning, the Emerald presented what it says are unacceptable conditions forced on it by its Board of Directors and stated that it would cease publishing until the board meets the staff’s demands.

The full substance of the Emerald’s argument will not be restated in this editorial, but we will summarize it for context: The Board of Directors, going directly against the wishes of the Emerald staff, hired Steven Smith to be the paper’s new position of “interim publisher” for a year while it searched for a permanent publisher. Read the rest of this entry »

Well, the Oregon Daily Emerald has thrown down the gauntlet:

If it isn’t one thing, it’s another.

Not long after Sam Dotters-Katz’s appointment of Athan Papailiou to the ASUO Senate was rejected, the ASUO president made another controversial Senate appointment: C.J. Ciaramella, editor-in-chief of the Oregon Commentator. Though this appointment was also rejected, this time unanimously, its mere occurrence calls into question the integrity of both related parties.

[…]

We’d like to know how the editor-in-chief of a publication that so concerns itself with ethics and student government, and the relationship (or lack thereof) between the two, can “ethically” apply to work for that very student government and still maintain a commitment to journalistic excellence.

Conflict of interest, anyone?

But the Commentator does not claim to be an objective or unbiased journal, some may argue. It is, after all, a place for commentary, and presents itself as such.

True, but if one gave so much as a cursory glance at an issue of the Commentator or its blog, they will undoubtedly find reporting, discussion and criticism of the ASUO and its actions. The most recent issue’s editorial is a prime example.

[…]

In addition, Ciaramella has attended each of the term’s ASUO Senate meetings as a reporter for the Commentator and has spoken out about senators, the organization and its processes. (The term “stakeholder” comes to mind.)

It hardly needs to be stated that reporting of any kind, no matter how inherently slanted, lacks any sort of credibility when the person in charge of its publication is heavily involved in the events and actions with which it is concerned.

In other words, Ciaramella’s decision to run for ASUO candidacy was disingenuous and unprofessional, and makes claims to journalistic integrity seem like nothing more than mockery.

Additionally, the decision to appoint Ciaramella to the Senate jeopardizes the ASUO Executive’s credibility.

Ciaramella’s application letter was indeed, as Sen. Tyler Scandalios described, flippant, and made clear its author’s lack of seriousness about the responsibilities of the Senate.

Whatever one’s opinions about the seriousness and credibility of the ASUO Senate, the fact is that it deals with students’ money and makes decisions that directly affect students, and, therefore, should not be taken so lightly. For Dotters-Katz to appoint Ciaramella when he was the only applicant to not agree to a job interview, was not recommended by the ASUO hiring committee, and treated the entire process like a joke, is irresponsible and disconcerting.

We would like to applaud the group for rejecting Ciaramella’s appointment. Making student government and its coverage in the media into a circus isn’t funny, even if trained bears are.

And I’d like to applaud the ODE for running this editorial almost a week after the fact. I guess this is the part where I’m supposed to be cowed into shame by the Emerald’s gravitas and finger-wagging, but you know what? Fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke.

The Commentator has been running joke candidates for years. Back in the day, one editor, Tamir Kreigel, was elected to Senate and then resigned by being carried out of the room by clowns. Timothy Dreier ran a retro-McCarthyite campaign for ASUO exec, and two years ago editor Ted Niedermeyer ran on an anti-douchebag platform.

The important thing to remember, though, is we’re not making the student government and its media coverage a circus. It’s already a circus. Everything about it is patently absurd. I mean, we’re talking about a group of college kids managing $11 million in student money. These are people who cry during Senate meetings and spend the rest of the time staring at Facebook.

And yet I’m berated by would-be politicos and would-be journalists for not treating this whole funny farm with absolute seriousness. Say what you will about the Commentator, but at least we recognize that we’re just a bunch of college students.

Of course, I understand that the ODE has to get up on its high horse every now and then and pretend to be Really Serious Journalism. If that’s the way they want to play it, fine (even though the ODE’s ASUO reporter and his editor were in the room yukking it up during my confirmation hearing). But if they thought I was making a mockery of things before, they’re in for a rude surprise. Just you wait.

My confirmation hearing to Senate was last night, and, in what can only be described as a gross perversion of democracy and justice, I was voted down 0-12-2. I’ll let ODE reporter and blogger Alex “Tomcat” Tomchak take it from here:

CJ Ciaramella’s appointment to the ASUO Senate failed Wednesday after the Oregon Commentator editor responded to concerns he would not take the position seriously by trimming his facial hair in the style of Wilford Brimley and reciting Barack Obama’s inaugural address before the Senate.

Not one senator voted to appoint Ciaramella to the empty seat representing the journalism school after a hearing that forced one spectator to leave the EMU Board Room clutching his mouth to stifle his laughter and several Senators unable to restrain grins.

Read the rest of this entry »

The great political machine chugs on, and I am closer than ever to a seat on the ASUO Senate, closer to striding the corridors of power. Today ASUO Exec Sam Dotters-Katz sent out an email announcing my appointment. As you might remember, I submitted an application earlier for the vacated journalism seat. But alas, the news of my appointment barely had time to dry on the page before the liberal media began their vicious assault on my character. Behold:

I honestly don’t know which side of CJ Ciaramella will be on display during his confirmation hearing. The tone of the letter suggests that it will be the one that led him to request (and recieve) $3 in ASUO money for a live unicorn and a stripper pole during the Commentator’s budget hearing before the PFC, having stumbled smoking a Camel menthol from the direction of Rennie’s Landing moments before. It wouldn’t make him so out of place. Everyone likes a joke, and I know of several current and former Senators who have intimate relationships with fifths of corn whiskey and $2 beers.

However, Ciaramella could also surprise us and draw on the strongly ideological side that led him to speak out at Athan Papailiou’s confiramtion hearing, calling the former Senate President the only obstacle to the “gravy train” chugging along under the aegis of the programs-friendly crowd.

This is nothing but cheap libel! I have not nor will I ever smoke a Camel menthol. I demand a retraction! Is this what passes for journalism? For shame, for shame! Let all the honest, hard-working, small-town Americans see how the latte-sipping, liberal elite look down their noses on us!

P.S. Yes, the Oregon Commentator now has a stripper pole line item on its budget.

P.P.S. Headline reference here.

ASUO Exec Sam Dotters-Katz has appointed former Senate President Athan Papailiou to the seat recently vacated by Kate Jones. Papailiou is a strong advocate for fiscal responsibility and a friend of the Commentator. He was elected on the Campaign for Change slate and served as Senate President for most of last year.

Also, after consulting with my Senate Exploratory Committee, I have applied for the vacant journalism seat on Senate. Both of our confirmation hearings will be on Wednesday and will be hilarious. For example, here is the cover letter I sent along with my application:

Dear Associated Students of the University of Oregon;

I am writing to apply for ASUO Senate Seat 19: Journalism. I am a journalism major and nominally more intelligent than a trained circus bear, which, from what I’ve seen, qualifies me for the position.

I am interested in the position because the chairs in the ASUO Boardroom look really, really comfortable. Sometimes there are also snacks for ASUO Senators. I am so down for that. I wish to become a part of the ASUO nobility and trod the lowly plebs beneath my gilded feet.

I’m a firm believer in strong, autocratic government. My biggest influences in this regard are, in ascending order: Teddy Roosevelt, Ghengis Khan and Conan (the barbarian). Enclosed is my application, my resume and a picture of me shaking hands with President Frohnmayer. (He’s my bro.) I look forward to hearing your response. Thank you for your time and consideration. Sincerely,

Carl Ciaramella

• Sen. Kate Jones has resigned from the ASUO Senate. Jones was one of the most senior members on the body, as well as one of its more influential members. This brings the number of vacant seats to two, the first being the journalism seat vacated by Suzie Giacomelli. The ASUO Executive will fill the two seats with appointments. The Comic Press has some suggestions for appointments, including a certain Sudsy O’Sullivan. (We’re working on it. Keep your fingers crossed.)
• There’s a Senate meeting tonight at seven p.m. As usual, I will be twittering the proceedings. Hard to say how interesting things will be from looking at the agenda, but it’s budget season, so all bets are off.
• ODE reporter Alex Scott has an article on the proposed amendments to the ASUO Constitution that I wrote about yesterday.

Tonight the ASUO Senate will be hearing a surplus request that would extend LTD bus service to campus until 2 a.m. along the 79x route.

The 79x route is considered vital because it runs past the Stadium Park apartments, where the Administration decided to house overflow freshmen this year. Without the bus route, freshmen are forced to walk through Alton Baker Park at night to get home.

The plan, constructed by ASUO exec Sam Dotters-Katz, would cost $40,257, roughly half of which would be covered by the UO Administration. It’s good to see the Administration covering some of this cost, considering it created this boondoggle in the first place.

The off-campus freshmen have put a big strain on other university services, such as the Designated Driver Shuttle. In lieu of bus service, the freshmen hitch rides with DDS, meaning the people DDS is actually intended for (drunkards) are left out in the cold (or, worse, decide to drive anyways).

I’ll have a summary of the meeting tonight, and, as always, you can get live updates via Twitter.

Note: This post was edited on 12/6/10 by Editor-in-Chief Lyzi Diamond. The link to the PDF of the Nathan Perley grievance has been changed to a link to the Con Court’s webpage where those grievances are stored.

Additionally, this information is added:

Senate Treasurer Nathan Perley was found NOT guilty on all allegations as evidenced by the ASUO Con Court opinion attached below. According to the Court’s assertions, the accusations against Senator Perley were “without merit…inconclusive or clearly rebutted by evidence submitted by the Respondent [Senator Perley].”

Senate Treasurer Perley completed a full and complete tenure pursuant to rules postulated by the ASUO.

Here’s the breakdown of the Senate meeting tonight:

• A grievance was filed by our own Michelle Haley against Sen. Nate Perley for 11 counts of non-fulfillment of duties. Whoops! Read the document here (scroll down to 6 C.C.).
• Senate approved a seven percent ACFC benchmark … even though the ACFC recommended a 13 percent decrease. The Senate, in their infinite wisdom, wanted to maintain the LTD bus service that is currently on the chopping block. Never mind the fact that a seven percent increase will still not be enough to satiate LTD. That’s some good governin’ there, kiddos.
• Sen. Jones said that she recently discovered she is a “Marxist-feminist.” Good for you!
• Senate approved a 5.35 percent PFC benchmark, which was the PFC Board’s recommendation. There was a brief (and by brief I mean hour-long) discussion about whether to compromise between the PFC Board and the Exec’s 4.6 percent recommendation, but it was dropped. Members of the PFC Board said several times their benchmark recommendation was the ceiling, and they would most likely come in under that figure. Outside in the hall, I overheard Sen. Schultz say that he would resign if the PFC went over the benchmark. Holdin’ you to that, buddy.
• During the benchmark discussion, ASUO Exec Sam Dotters-Katz brought up the fact that the UO has the highest incidental fee per capita in the country, to which Sen. Weintraub exclaimed, “And I think that’s great!” Sen. Nix was the only one at the table who appeared troubled by the ever-growing I-fee.
• Senate approved a seven percent EMU benchmark.
• Quote of the meeting: when Senate President McCafferty asked everyone to “please refrain from intense rustling” when he called to vote.

Once again, I also send live updates of Senate meetings via Twitter, so check that out if you have some sort of masochistic love of the ASUO.

Another Wednesday, another ASUO Senate Meeting. I can’t tell if there will be anything juicy from reading the agenda (being the enthralling piece of prose that it is), but the Survival Center is putting in a special request (surplus request for “revolutionary filing cabinet,” I presume).

I’ll be doing my part as a 21 century, techno-wizard journalist and twittering the night’s proceedings. As usual, the sideshow starts at seven p.m.

P.S. Oh, I guess there is that whole “presidential debate” thing tonight, or so I hear, but who cares about that?

There’s a big ol’ ASUO Senate meeting tonight at 7 p.m. I’ll be reporting on it; well, at least some of it. The meeting is projected to go pretty long. This is because the Senate is doling out $200,000 in over-realized funds. You can read a partial list of the requests in the above link.

I’ll have a blog post breaking down the meeting tonight, and I’ll be “twittering” (god, I hate that word so much. I mean, I’m all for new media, but can’t you give it a name that doesn’t make my blood boil?) breaking developments and snarky comments.

I sent an email to the Black Women of Achievement today regarding their hair show. Individual messages sent yesterday to former ASUO Executive Emily McLain and BWA Director Ashleigh Callier-Wells have not yet been responded to. Here’s the letter:

Dear Black Women of Achievement,
My name is CJ Ciaramella. I’m the editor-in-chief of the Oregon Commentator, a student publication of the University of Oregon. If you don’t mind, I had a couple of questions for you regarding the hair show for which you received $64,050 in student money.

Could you describe what kind of event the hair show will be?

Is it the same thing as your Ethnic Hair Care Day, scheduled for Nov. 5, which will give students the opportunity “get educated on ways to handle that stringy, tangled, nappy hair that is either damaged by color, or dryness”?

How exactly is the $64,050 being used for the hair show?

Was the over-realized request for the hair show brought before the ASUO Senate by Ashleigh Callier-Wells?

If so, was Callier-Wells a student at the time?

I’m sorry if it sounds like I’m prying, but I’m really quite interested. This sounds like it will be a great hair show, considering its budget is bigger than the entire combined operating budgets of the Oregon Commentator, the Oregon Voice and the Student Insurgent. Thanks,

CJ Ciaramella
Editor-in-Chief, Oregon Commentator